This Blog is an outlet for the random thoughts of an amateur opinionator.
What's an opinionator?
An opinionator is somebody who has power without responsibility, and the ability to spout off on any subject without worrying too much about the consequences of what comes out of the mouth. All you need is an opinion and the opportunity to voice it.
TV is full of professional opinionators. The internet gives the amateur his chance.
> for ouR desKtop
Author: aLmich
I've been transferred to another program at last! [*whew! what a relief..]I've long been requesting for that. And now I'll be calling Academix Direct. A lead generation type wherein we call people who have plans of pursing college. We then provide 3 universities that have matched their criteria.
I just love the fact that I'm into something new. I wont be selling internet advertising, telephone subscription nor pushing for natural gas anymore. We'll just be verifying informations and then refer them to US universities and Colleges. A li'l bit of this, that and a lot of chit chat!
And more thing, I have Gretch , Myah, Ms. Diana too!
What more can I ask for?
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> preTend thaT he's gonE
Author: aLmich
Dreamt about [let's call him] C last night --- which bothers me because I hadn't thought about him in a really long time.
You know when you start feeling like you're in a good place and that you've actually started to move on, but then you find yourself thinking about someone you just wish you could erase from your memory... sort of like what Jim Carrey tried to do in "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".
Sometimes, I think that if I could completely erase C from my mind, I would. But that was before --- before, when I used to wish he'd get an STD or that his career would fall apart or that he'd just do me a favour and fucking leave Manila, you know?
It's weird how bitterness can just turn you into this horrible kind of person, you know? You get so stuck in feeling bad.
I once read, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
No shit.
That's exactly how I was living.
But now? Yeah, the dream kind of shook me up, but I can see now that maybe I should be glad that things turned out the way that they did. Who'd want to be with a horrible person who didn't recognize your worth, anyway? If you were still with that person, you'd never be open and available to meet the person you're supposed to be with.
That sort of thing.
If I had to see him now, I don't think I'd even have the energy to say anything to him. I'd rather we just both pretended the other didn't exist anymore.
Sometimes, pretending just makes it easier.
> Let's be niCe todaY
Author: aLmich
"No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted." - Aesop
On my way home today, traffic was bumper to bumper, the traffic lights seem to be sira na naman and coffee had dripped from the cheap paper cup onto my clean white shirt yet I tried to smile and control the PI word come out of my mouth. I was getting into the swing of things for "Random Acts of Kindness Week".
Yes, it's more than a slogan on a bumper sticker. It doesn't really matter what you do; kindness comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe you can help an old lady cross the street, bring in your neighbor's trash cans, or help a stranger change a tire. Hahaha am I nuts? I'm not, mabait lang talaga ako today. If you have trouble thinking of something, approach me [*hehehe].
It would be best to just let it be a mystery.
However you spread kindness this week, have fun and smile.
On my way home today, traffic was bumper to bumper, the traffic lights seem to be sira na naman and coffee had dripped from the cheap paper cup onto my clean white shirt yet I tried to smile and control the PI word come out of my mouth. I was getting into the swing of things for "Random Acts of Kindness Week".
Yes, it's more than a slogan on a bumper sticker. It doesn't really matter what you do; kindness comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe you can help an old lady cross the street, bring in your neighbor's trash cans, or help a stranger change a tire. Hahaha am I nuts? I'm not, mabait lang talaga ako today. If you have trouble thinking of something, approach me [*hehehe].
It would be best to just let it be a mystery.
However you spread kindness this week, have fun and smile.
> celebrate singLehood
Author: aLmich
"Although I'm rarely accused of "having good timing" [or tact, for that matter], it seems that my luck has finally turned: Today I've parted ways with the jerk, er, guy I was seeing, just in time for the nonstop thrill ride that is National Singles Week. Er, excuse me -- National Unmarried and Singles Americans Week. Because I am nothing if not a serious investigative journalist, I did a hard-hitting piece on the phenomenon that's sweeping our nation: Celebrating being single during an assigned week! Most reporters would shy away from such a controversial subject. Not me. It's all about the story, people. With that, today's column, Party of One. Cue "All By Myself."
Party of one
If you're one of the 95 million Americans who stubbornly refuse to join in wedded bliss, the commemorative holiday you've been feverishly anticipating is finally here. That's right, spouse-less slackers, it's National Unmarried And Single Americans Week! Possessors of a marriage license, get thee to the sleepy bedroom 'burbs. This week is NOT for you!
As for the rest -- I know it's difficult to contain your exuberance.
You've no doubt already planned several rollicking events, probably involving whipped cream and speed dating.
You've no doubt already planned several rollicking events, probably involving whipped cream and speed dating. After all, times when you can officially celebrate not having a ball & chain come but once a year. [Excluding bachelor parties. Obviously.]
The esteemed holiday was founded in 1984 by a courageous group of Ohioans called the Buckeye Singles Council, who clearly had too much free time on their [ring-less] hands. Disgruntled with the smug marrieds in their state, they decided that they just wouldn't stand for it anymore.No longer....
No longer would they ignore the blatant favoritism accorded to those with marriage certificates!
No longer would they put up with the inferior status of those without contractual agreements sealed with large, expensive parties involving multi-tiered cakes!
No longer would they answer their mother's insistent phone calls about "that nice Jewish orthodontist"!
They retaliated by proclaiming that forthwith, the third week in September would be reserved solely for honoring unmarried people throughout the nation as well as creating awareness of the rampant discrimination against their kind.
Oh, you think the unattached don't really suffer discrimination? I bet you're married, you single-hater!Stigma and embarrassment.
According to one dating expert I spoke with, "There is still a stigma and embarrassment about being alone."
Yeah! Here's to all the stigmatized, embarrassed singles out there. Grab your cats and a bottle of warm white wine and raise a toast to life without joint tax returns, "checking in," and mandatory visits with ugly in-laws.
"This week single people are finally given permission to actually get out and enjoy themselves," the expert explained.
Permission?
Singles are the only people who DON'T need permission to go enjoy themselves!
Singles are the only people who DON'T need permission to go enjoy themselves!
Beyond that, how should we losers without wedding bands celebrate this momentous occasion? Alcohol, nudity, repeated trips to Scores?
According to the expert, we can "get a good night's sleep, hang out with friends, or go for a great haircut."
Personally, I was leaning towards the alcohol and nudity, but okay. I guess a haircut sounds nice too.
And of course, nothing says "I'm going all out to properly commemorate National Unmarried and Single Americans Week" like getting a good night's sleep.
I knew this was going to be the Best Week Ever."
--Julia Allison [http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/39619/party-of-one]
*kulit no?
> kasaBay ng e-heaDs ang barkaDa
Author: aLmich
I was browsing through friend's blogpages and got inspired with one of the background music. An Original Pilipino Music entitled “San Na Nga Bang Barkada Ngayon”. Roan, used the same for a video made for our batch. This inspired me to look for pinoy mp3s on the web.
In my search, I came across the songs of Eraserheads and Rivermaya. I decided to download most of the songs I knew and listened. I didn’t realize how this could just bring back so many good memories from the not so distant past.
First I was listening to The Eraserheads’ tracks from its Ultra Electro Magnetic Pop Album [their very first]. I got this album when I was still in hayskul. My classmates, who was still trying to find their music identity at that time, also wanted this album and so we shared same moments of senti and kanta along our ways home. The tracks included songs like “Toyang”, “Pare Ko”,”Tindahan Ni Aling Nena”, and “Ligaya”.
We could sing along with the songs knowing the lyrics of each one of them since they were very easy to learn. Those were the best years I had bonding with my ka-baste98.
I’ve always loved the Pinoy alternative music especially the ones I grew up with. These were bands like The Eraserheads, Rivermaya, True Faith, Put3ska, *heck, even Yano, The Youth [remember Multong Bakla?], and that band who sang that psycho song “Lakas Tama”. Those were the Pinoy bands of my time. Club Dredd was the place to be for Pinoy rock and every claimed-to-be-punk in our class obliged to have the bar's shirt, and that other rock band place somewhere near UST in España [Mayrics?].
I never went to both places and only heard them from my older guy cousins or titos who would go there and watch. Only them were allowed to go there.
I remember some of my girlfriends decided to go to a Pulp Magazine sponsored concert in Manila. They were surprised to find themselves being thrown in a the mosh pit but terribly enjoyed the whole experience. This was one of the things I didn’t experience in my youth. Being thrown in a mosh pit and crowd surfing. I would still want to do it for the thrill of it.
As I grow older, my taste for music has become more diverse and yet, I still feel like I’m home when I listen to OPM Rock.
Even now, everytime the baste98 meets, kantahan while toma sa tunog ng E-heads ang isa sa pinakamasaya. We have all developed this love and great friendship sa isa't isa kasabay sa tunog ng gitara. Hanggang ngayon buong-buo pa rin kami. Malayo man ang iba, we know that the kapusong-Baste remains in our hearts.
Now, that IS an accomplishment.
In my search, I came across the songs of Eraserheads and Rivermaya. I decided to download most of the songs I knew and listened. I didn’t realize how this could just bring back so many good memories from the not so distant past.
First I was listening to The Eraserheads’ tracks from its Ultra Electro Magnetic Pop Album [their very first]. I got this album when I was still in hayskul. My classmates, who was still trying to find their music identity at that time, also wanted this album and so we shared same moments of senti and kanta along our ways home. The tracks included songs like “Toyang”, “Pare Ko”,”Tindahan Ni Aling Nena”, and “Ligaya”.
We could sing along with the songs knowing the lyrics of each one of them since they were very easy to learn. Those were the best years I had bonding with my ka-baste98.
I’ve always loved the Pinoy alternative music especially the ones I grew up with. These were bands like The Eraserheads, Rivermaya, True Faith, Put3ska, *heck, even Yano, The Youth [remember Multong Bakla?], and that band who sang that psycho song “Lakas Tama”. Those were the Pinoy bands of my time. Club Dredd was the place to be for Pinoy rock and every claimed-to-be-punk in our class obliged to have the bar's shirt, and that other rock band place somewhere near UST in España [Mayrics?].
I never went to both places and only heard them from my older guy cousins or titos who would go there and watch. Only them were allowed to go there.
I remember some of my girlfriends decided to go to a Pulp Magazine sponsored concert in Manila. They were surprised to find themselves being thrown in a the mosh pit but terribly enjoyed the whole experience. This was one of the things I didn’t experience in my youth. Being thrown in a mosh pit and crowd surfing. I would still want to do it for the thrill of it.
As I grow older, my taste for music has become more diverse and yet, I still feel like I’m home when I listen to OPM Rock.
Even now, everytime the baste98 meets, kantahan while toma sa tunog ng E-heads ang isa sa pinakamasaya. We have all developed this love and great friendship sa isa't isa kasabay sa tunog ng gitara. Hanggang ngayon buong-buo pa rin kami. Malayo man ang iba, we know that the kapusong-Baste remains in our hearts.
Now, that IS an accomplishment.
> mag-exeRcise tayo!
Author: aLmich
This entry has long been delayed but I'm posting it anyway.
A friend sent me a link of a video aptly titled “The Prison Break Dance”. I was amused to see that it was the whole “Thriller” dance routine by Michael Jackson was performed by 1,500 Filipino prisoners at CPDRC [Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Cente]. I went to YouTube and searched for more videos and found out that the CPDRC Prison inmates have been doing several other “performances” as their daily morning exercise! This was spearheaded by security consultant, Byron F. Garcia, who realized that music help “drastically” improve inmates behaviour.
[video]
I think the idea is brilliant. Where else can you find not only dancing cooks and waiters but also prison inmates doing song and dance production as their morning routine? Only in the Philippines! Kidding aside, I give props to Mr. Garcia for being able to mobilize a whole prison and make the inmates participate in this project. Morning exercises never looked so much fun and entertaining!
> new layOuts as reQuesteD
Author: aLmich
My ofis-besfrends have long been asking me to make wallpapers for their desktop and cellphones. And since I can't sleep, I gave in... *hehehe
> bunTis cHronicLe
Author: aLmich
> puTting some Life back inTo the graveyaRd shifT
Author: aLmich
Imagine waking up every day at 8PM and heading to work until 7AM. Would you be able to adapt to working nights and sleeping when the sun is up? There's a reason they call it the graveyard shift, but for the increasing number of callcenter/shift workers in the Philippines, overnight jobs and constantly changing schedules are a reality that cannot be avoided.
Understandably, many may be tempted to live on a steady dose of caffeine or prescription stimulant medications just like I do. I can't start my day wthout a venti Cafe Americano or a Mocha Frappe with a shot of espresso. But these can only help for so long and come with some side effects. How can you naturally adjust to an unusual sleeping pattern?
Sleeping When the Sun is Up
The key to adjusting your sleeping pattern lies in changing your body's circadian rhythm, a sort of natural alarm clock that helps to regulate your hormones, body temperature, heart rate and other functions to the rhythm of the day. This circadian clock is normally timed to the earth's natural light and dark cycles, which is perfect for the regular office job. But for people who work in industries that require round-the-clock employees, like the police force, hospital system, call centers, newsrooms and mining companies, this clock needs to be reset.
Resetting your circadian clock takes a bit of work, however. For overnight workers, once the body gets used to being up at night and sleeping during the day, things get a bit easier. But for those with a constantly-changing schedule, also called a rotating shift, the circadian clock has a tough time constantly readjusting. It is this last type of shift work that tends to be most taxing on the body.
Graveyard workers are of course prone to being asleep at work. These workers are more likely to experience stomach problems, colds, flu, weight gain, heart problems and higher blood pressure caused as a result of the stresses that shift work can put on a person's mind and body.
However, there are some things you can do to get a good night—or day—of sleep before heading off to work.
Start a Bedtime Ritual
It is recommended that shift workers should create an environment that will allow them to relax and sleep easily.
Take a warm bath or listen to soothing music.
I, personally have a bunch of sweet rhythms and [*get this] Christmas songs downloaded on my shuffle or cellphone.
Avoid caffeine within 5 hours of bedtime. [*through which I'm having problem because my Ate Erlynn and I are just coffee addicts even at home]
Avoid over-stimulating mental activities shortly before bed, such as a reading an exciting book or working on a crossword puzzle.
Lower the temperature in your bedroom to help you sleep. [*so kelangan may aircon!]
Use light-blocking blinds or wear eye shades. [*aside from the usual curtains, I have a blanket to cover our room and I also have an eye cover to totally block any light coming through]
Keep a fan on or wear ear plugs to block out ambient noise.
Keep Alert at Work
Be sure to wake up well before your shift begins just in case you are a bit drowsy. If you need a cup of coffee to get you going, just be sure to only drink caffeinated beverages early on in your shift so it doesn't interfere with sleep later. Interacting with coworkers can also help keep your mind alert, as can short bursts of exercise such as climbing the stairs or taking a brisk walk.
If you feel drowsy on the ride home, don't fight it: be sure to pull over to the side of the road. [*pang-mayaman 'to kse kelangan may kotse] Carpooling can help ensure that you get home safely.
Eat Well [*hmmm]
Callcenters and hospitals dependent on shift workers will often operate a limited part of in-house cafeterias during the overnight hours. Beyond that, vending machines and greasy diners are the only other options. Bring a meal from home whenever possible. Munching on carrots or other crunchy vegetables can also help keep you alert. Some experts suggest eating smaller portions throughout the day instead of three large meals to avoid a shift worker's tendency to get heartburn and other stomach problems. But realize that there will be the temptation to join your family for a heavy dinner when you're first waking up.
Make Time for Your Family
While shift work can allow you to be home during the day, it can leave little time to spend with family who may be at work or school. Set up a schedule that will allow you to spend some time with your loved-ones. Whether it's always reading your daughter a bedtime story before heading off to work or spending Sunday shopping with your wife, shift work doesn't mean the end of a cohesive family. [* i might do this na rin kse Ate's having a baby anytime this week]
Weekends can be especially hard, as you will want to take advantage of the time to spend some daylight hours with friends or family. While experts stress the importance of maintaining your sleep schedule, it's simply impossible for most to keep it up through the weekend. Just be sure that family and friends understand your situation so that they are respectful of the time you do have to spend with them and the time you choose to spend asleep. [* dito pumapasok ang mga taong walang habas kung magtxt! punyeta!]
Without the stress of rush hour traffic or the monotony of a nine-to-five job, shift work can be appealing to many people. And by adding a strong routine to your overnight or shifting work schedule, you can stay healthy, too.
So people stay healthy! Live a normal life even with the abnormal situation. Afterall, you're paid better naman diba?
Lovelife and sexlife? that can be worked on.
> neW perKs
Author: aLmich
Things will be a bit different for me. Instead of the usual 10pm-7am workload, I'll be on a 3am-12pm sked now. I've been given the opportunity to be transferred to a new program as I have long wished. This is way cool for me since I typically worked 10-7 ever since... it's like getting a bunch of free time every week and better working habit I hope.
So lemme think of new perks to spice up my new found life. I'm excited!
Now.... what to do with all that time off?
*zzzZzzZzzzzzZzzz
> wHen and wHere?
Author: aLmich
So, according to AskMen.com, women give terrible relationship advice and men should perfect the art of blowing off a girl.
Great.
I don't know why I'm even reading this. It's just making me feel like, "You know what? Let's not bother with this. You're not even straight! Future spinsterhood, here I come!"
I don't know... maybe they're onto something, though. Sometimes, when my female friends are giving me advice, I sort of feel like I can't really trust what they're saying.
Like Samantha on Sex and the City said to Carrie, "Honey, we're as fucked up as you are. It's like the blind leading the blind."
So far, what I've been doing is this: nothing. Okay. That's not true. I've been trying to assess the situation. You don't want to chase after someone who's just gotten out of a relationship. But how long do you wait? And how do you carefully lay down the groundwork so that you're seen as someone they should seriously consider dating?
Hmmm... this is promising. I may not be straight but it can work either way isn't it? And pullleeeaaazzzeee... look at the guy, he's crying for me. I can't just leave him. *sigh
I don't know.
> baby sLide
Author: aLmich
> i'm jusT so haPpy..
Author: aLmich
I'm posting this kse tuwa lang ako sa gawa ko.
Many people would like to be able to do things they picture out of their minds but can hardly execute it. And I'm just so happy there's this one thing I can now busy myself with.
Salamat sa adobe!
Pampatanggal stress!
Many people would like to be able to do things they picture out of their minds but can hardly execute it. And I'm just so happy there's this one thing I can now busy myself with.
Salamat sa adobe!
Pampatanggal stress!
> why bLog?
Author: aLmich
I was talking a little about blogging today and I was mentioning to this 2 friends how some people blog about everything -- cam whoring, pictures of food, daily activities, conversations with friends and *er, more cam whoring. They totally don’t understand blogging. Actually the idea of blogging, or broadcasting of thoughts, it’s sometimes just for this feeling of satisfaction, of encouragement, of someone caring about what you do.
I blog for a mixture of reasons. But one of the main reason is satisfaction. I get thrilled to see visitors and it makes me happy that the article I posted actually helped them. I used to post more personal stuff but after a while I just realized that nobody’s really interested I guess.
Eventually I switched to funny stuff that I see everyday that made me smile. And I want to remember the moments that I feel happy seeing a YouTube video, angry that the world isn’t fair, proud when people find my posts useful.
And thus I blog. It’s hard to describe the feeling. I just concluded to them that they should try it. Try blogging for a little while, get your friends to see your blog. It’s quite a good feeling for me and it may be for you too.
I'm glad Nates is starting his own now.
> iyaKin ako ngayOn
Author: aLmich
Sometimes I just can't help but cry
When I think of what we've become
Like a soldier lost in the night
Forgetting all where he has come from
But the mud will soon become dry
And the sun will rise again
And the shadows in our eyes
Will fade away down to lower plains
Cause' You have one wing and I have another
Seeking shelter like sister and brother
Through the winter and through the summer
Like one angel we'll Fly far away
Nates just called me now. I'm at work but I took his call. Didn't mind if I'll be caught. What can I do? I miss the guy... I miss his presence and understanding ear. I'm through a lot now and his voice will surely help me soothe everything away.
Kakabaliw... masaya ako pero naiyak na naman ako... When I saw his pix sa friendster, I cried.
I hope I'm making sense here, I hope people can still understand. I just hope...
> buhaY nga naMan : GUILTY si eraP!
Author: aLmich
The Sandiganbayan anti-graft court has finally handed down its verdict on the plunder case against former President Joseph “Erap” Estrada today September 12, 2007.
Estrada was found “guilty beyond reasonable doubt” of plunder and was sentenced to reclusion perpetua, or jail of up to 40 years however, Estrada was found not guilty of the perjury charges against him. The former president’s son, Sen. Jose “Jinggoy” Estrada, and lawyer Edwardo Serapio on the other hand, was found innocent of the charges.
Estrada is charged with plunder, which is made up of four counts of corruption, involving diversion of funds amounting to about P4 billion ($85 million). He was also charged with perjury.
The charges include taking commissions in the purchase of shares by government insurance funds, payoffs from gambling lords, diverting tobacco taxes for personal use and maintaining a bank account under a false name. The perjury charge relates to misrepresentation on earned income.
In the meantime, the court allowed Estrada to return to his Tanay, Rizal resthouse, instead of being hauled off to jail.
> jusT tireD and wasTed
Author: aLmich
I am really tired of going through the same routine day in and day out. I am just tired and burnt out. This job is just mind numbing and nerve wrecking.
There is no real happiness for me anymore, and it looks like a vacation to escape from work would be something I should be really considering. I want something that I can be more relaxing because I've been doing this for the past [4 years? - 5 years?], I am tired of it.
I’ve applied for many jobs in the interim. Had some interviews but didn't pursue. Either its not paying well or too many of the questions I've asked didn't get answers.
I come in to work, already fed up even before I walk in the door. The thrill of coming to work is not there anymore. Its like getting a new game- you play it and play it until you get fed up of it and the thrill is gone. I am still continuing on my ”quest” to get through each day but my mind is cursing everything that comes my way.
*Paksyet!
> confUsed, hurt, troubLed...
Author: aLmich
Where we see, but we don’t see, where we cry, laugh, sing, dance, but don’t remember why. Is it for an interest, for a familiarity with another? For that enjoyment? pleasure? pain?
I cannot figure it out, how a person can feel pleasure from pain. But, then again, I shouldn’t be one to talk. The oppressor cannot and will not admit to what he does, yet, everyone around him knows… they know that what he does is wrong, and will not stand up, fight, die, revolutionize on behalf of the oppressed.
Do you see it? your inability to speak?
You will not acknowledge how you are, you will not claim you beliefs and suffer the consequences, you will not accept or allow foreign ideas into your mind or life, you will not hear it, yet you express what you feel is the only right.
Call me a hypocrit if you wish, but know that I have you figured out: you’re comfortable, unnaccepting and often-times critical of others, but no, you do not admit it, you do not swear by it, you just talk talk talk, hoping that the world listens and agrees. But, when one dissagrees, stomp them down! they aren’t worth your time.
We inhale this stench, only to forget it, stop your face from contorting! you do not smell anything, hear anything, see anything. Blind eyes, all of you!, closed noses! how can you breathe?! how can you not acknowledge your surroundings this way?! forget it.
tell yourself, “forget it”.
I admire your strength, and detest your indifference. not only you, but them as well. no voices, only the buzzing, buzzing like worker bees, drones, following, acting, only from the hormones, instincts.
How can this be? that we are human without humanity. No longer do we feel, or act, or love, or hate, or smell, or sense anything, we are stone, no, not stone, I am too kind to offend them that way. we are shit. feces, the putrescence of the earth, rotting away, eroding our surroundings, and we smell, the aroma of our skin decaying under the sun. We ignore it, avoid it, refuse to acknowledge it still, until we are, truly, the shit that we excrete, sunspots, liverspots, melanoma, cancer, aids, hiv, all those, from our own, and we still refuse to see it, smell it.
Sanitize your surroundings now!
you cannot bear it!
exterminate!
the ingrates!
it’s all their fault!
they are more close to shit than we are! stop them!
how close does this sound?
don’t stop me.
because you know,
that even though, I smell too,
you will not acknowledge me either.
And I will rot away, just as you do, but I will go, enlightened of my world,
just
how
I
left
it.
I cannot figure it out, how a person can feel pleasure from pain. But, then again, I shouldn’t be one to talk. The oppressor cannot and will not admit to what he does, yet, everyone around him knows… they know that what he does is wrong, and will not stand up, fight, die, revolutionize on behalf of the oppressed.
Do you see it? your inability to speak?
You will not acknowledge how you are, you will not claim you beliefs and suffer the consequences, you will not accept or allow foreign ideas into your mind or life, you will not hear it, yet you express what you feel is the only right.
Call me a hypocrit if you wish, but know that I have you figured out: you’re comfortable, unnaccepting and often-times critical of others, but no, you do not admit it, you do not swear by it, you just talk talk talk, hoping that the world listens and agrees. But, when one dissagrees, stomp them down! they aren’t worth your time.
We inhale this stench, only to forget it, stop your face from contorting! you do not smell anything, hear anything, see anything. Blind eyes, all of you!, closed noses! how can you breathe?! how can you not acknowledge your surroundings this way?! forget it.
tell yourself, “forget it”.
I admire your strength, and detest your indifference. not only you, but them as well. no voices, only the buzzing, buzzing like worker bees, drones, following, acting, only from the hormones, instincts.
How can this be? that we are human without humanity. No longer do we feel, or act, or love, or hate, or smell, or sense anything, we are stone, no, not stone, I am too kind to offend them that way. we are shit. feces, the putrescence of the earth, rotting away, eroding our surroundings, and we smell, the aroma of our skin decaying under the sun. We ignore it, avoid it, refuse to acknowledge it still, until we are, truly, the shit that we excrete, sunspots, liverspots, melanoma, cancer, aids, hiv, all those, from our own, and we still refuse to see it, smell it.
Sanitize your surroundings now!
you cannot bear it!
exterminate!
the ingrates!
it’s all their fault!
they are more close to shit than we are! stop them!
how close does this sound?
don’t stop me.
because you know,
that even though, I smell too,
you will not acknowledge me either.
And I will rot away, just as you do, but I will go, enlightened of my world,
just
how
I
left
it.
> i'm tiRed of you EJ!
Author: aLmich
It has been going on for a month now. I can't penetrate on my calls, can't judge my contacts correctly, can't say the correct words, rebuttals... Haaaaa!!! I'm just too tired. I feel like retiring.
What burdens me most is the fact that I don't like some of the people I work with. Especially that damn Exorcist Ju-on! How dare him! Doesn't he know that he look like QUASIMODO walang MODO?
Even if you love your work, there will be times when it no longer fills you with passion and energy. You feel emotionally exhausted and cynical. Your health suffers as stress mounts. You wonder whether you have the resources, internal or external, to meet your responsibilities.
Callcenter people like us are especially prone to burnout in this hyperconnected world. That damn headset’s always around, waiting with calls at the ready.
I know that burnout is as much about your dreams as it is about your work, because burnout is the gap between your expectations and your ability to meet them. But the thought of these people trying to be somebody, doing power trips and being that oh so panget all the while exhaust me. Punyeta!
Whew! I need a breather. I just need it please!
What burdens me most is the fact that I don't like some of the people I work with. Especially that damn Exorcist Ju-on! How dare him! Doesn't he know that he look like QUASIMODO walang MODO?
Even if you love your work, there will be times when it no longer fills you with passion and energy. You feel emotionally exhausted and cynical. Your health suffers as stress mounts. You wonder whether you have the resources, internal or external, to meet your responsibilities.
Callcenter people like us are especially prone to burnout in this hyperconnected world. That damn headset’s always around, waiting with calls at the ready.
I know that burnout is as much about your dreams as it is about your work, because burnout is the gap between your expectations and your ability to meet them. But the thought of these people trying to be somebody, doing power trips and being that oh so panget all the while exhaust me. Punyeta!
Whew! I need a breather. I just need it please!
> ziT ranT
Author: aLmich
I have an enormous pimple on my forehead.
I'm not that young anymore and I still get zits.
I think it's worse when your skin is otherwise relatively clear and you've just got that one big honkin' zit right smack dab in the middle of your face. Though... it's really more like on the right, not so much the centre. But the point is, no amount of concealer is going to cover that thing 'cause it just comes off as this bump on your face that wasn't there the day before... or maybe it was but it's just bigger today and more noticeable.
And maybe the smart thing to do would be to leave it and let it go away on its own instead of maybe aggravating the situation further by adding makeup onto it, but at this age, you'd think your body would just cut you a break already and leave the zits behind.
I may not be making sense here I know but that's what I fel like writing. And these type of feelings have hurt people too. I am sorry for at times I just write what I feel like writing. Maybe we could just settle on the fact that I'm not that bad pa naman.
So I wanna take this opportunity to say sorry to those na nasaktan ko through these rants.
To nates, rain and everyone, sorry talaga.
I miss you and I love you always.
I'm not that young anymore and I still get zits.
I think it's worse when your skin is otherwise relatively clear and you've just got that one big honkin' zit right smack dab in the middle of your face. Though... it's really more like on the right, not so much the centre. But the point is, no amount of concealer is going to cover that thing 'cause it just comes off as this bump on your face that wasn't there the day before... or maybe it was but it's just bigger today and more noticeable.
And maybe the smart thing to do would be to leave it and let it go away on its own instead of maybe aggravating the situation further by adding makeup onto it, but at this age, you'd think your body would just cut you a break already and leave the zits behind.
I may not be making sense here I know but that's what I fel like writing. And these type of feelings have hurt people too. I am sorry for at times I just write what I feel like writing. Maybe we could just settle on the fact that I'm not that bad pa naman.
So I wanna take this opportunity to say sorry to those na nasaktan ko through these rants.
To nates, rain and everyone, sorry talaga.
I miss you and I love you always.
> saTurday's parTy
Author: aLmich
Saturday night's party was a blast: plenty of good people, good food, good drinks and of course, good conversations.
Mangyans from oriental and occidental swarmed the place.
So much praises had been said pero salamat talaga kay Ate Erlynn.
I wish to write more about the party pero I feel so drained.
Let the pictures do the works then.
Mangyans from oriental and occidental swarmed the place.
So much praises had been said pero salamat talaga kay Ate Erlynn.
I wish to write more about the party pero I feel so drained.
Let the pictures do the works then.
> the secreT
Author: aLmich
You ever have one of those mornings where you just feel like... like you're not okay, but you can't put your finger on why you're not okay. It's not that you're sad or angry or irritated... you're just not happy.
Who knows? Maybe it's a bit of boredom, too...and maybe a touch of fear that maybe things will always stay the same and nothing will ever move forward.
See, the thing is, even though listening to those people on Oprah talk about "The Secret" was kind of inspiring, it just feels so bloody hard to lift yourself out of a blah mood and to stop yourself from thinking, "I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here."
I always think about that Gwyneth Paltrow movie, "Sylvia", and that one scene where she's talking to a friend and you can tell she's in this really bad place in her mind. It's just the way she talks, you know? That dull acceptance of how weary her life is... it's so different from just being depressed, because it's like this whole other layer of defeat.
I guess I'm not really making all that much sense right now.
It's Ate Erlynns baby shower and birthday party and baste batch mates are coming... so I'd rather try perking up...
My pinsans : Olee, Ron, On and Pet are online now and we're on a conference... I guess that's one thing I should be happy about right?
I just have to keep telling myself that it's just one bad day... just one bad day to get through...
*wink
Who knows? Maybe it's a bit of boredom, too...and maybe a touch of fear that maybe things will always stay the same and nothing will ever move forward.
See, the thing is, even though listening to those people on Oprah talk about "The Secret" was kind of inspiring, it just feels so bloody hard to lift yourself out of a blah mood and to stop yourself from thinking, "I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here."
I always think about that Gwyneth Paltrow movie, "Sylvia", and that one scene where she's talking to a friend and you can tell she's in this really bad place in her mind. It's just the way she talks, you know? That dull acceptance of how weary her life is... it's so different from just being depressed, because it's like this whole other layer of defeat.
I guess I'm not really making all that much sense right now.
It's Ate Erlynns baby shower and birthday party and baste batch mates are coming... so I'd rather try perking up...
My pinsans : Olee, Ron, On and Pet are online now and we're on a conference... I guess that's one thing I should be happy about right?
I just have to keep telling myself that it's just one bad day... just one bad day to get through...
*wink
> viva caLingasan!
Author: aLmich
Weird as it may seem but I haven't met some of my cousins since birth.. salamat sa technology nagkakila-kilala kami.. here's a pic of what took place last week..
I'll be updating more of what have beens next time..
> barFy and my new cLaimed BF!
Author: aLmich
I'm kinda feeling barfy this afternoon when i woke up.
Well... every afternoon for the past week, I've woken up and dry heaved into the sink. Today I actually threw up and it oddly made me feel a little better.
Yeah, so I think that it's better for me to dial things back a bit, 'cause I feel like I'm a little too open and honest and blabbermouth-like when it comes to things in my life. It gets embarrassing when things don't work out.
*sigh
I don't know.
When a friend called last night, I just didn't feel like getting into anything and I was sort of distracted when she was telling me about how she'd finally met her boyfriend's mother.
I should be happy for her, right?
Then how come all I feel is nothing [except the urge to barf all the time]?
You want to know what the weirdest thing is? It's not like I feel depressed and unhappy. I just feel like... nothing.
It's a weird state to be in.
I mean, I haven't even had anything to bitch and moan about in my journal... and usually, I always have something to bitch and moan about.
Earlier, when I went to ML for Ate's kwarta padala, I almost freaked out sa teller sa daming kaartehan. Good thing I managed to be composed. I don't even know the person who sent Ate the money and to avoid so many more questions from the teller, when asked how am I related to the sender, I replied - Boyfriend ko. [ *nagulat ang mga tao! ha ha ha ]. What I'm gonna do? kse tatanungin pa kung bakit di pareho apelido namin kung sasabihin kong kamag-anak ko siya at marami at marami pa. Eh kung boyfriend? eh di malicious smile lang *he he he. The hell I care.
I was listening to this song the other night --- I'm almost embarrassed to mention it, but it was from that Canadian Idol winner, Melissa O'Neill, and it was her first single.
I actually found myself listening to it and thinking, "Yeah. She makes sense. You've just got to put yourself out there, 'cause even if you fall down, at least you'll know you tried."
I don't know.
Maybe I'm seriously cracking up.
And oo nga pala, aliw ako gumawa ng mga layouts these days. Here's one.
> basTe '98 : inuMan na!
Author: aLmich
> RSVP
Author: aLmich
> mag-tagaLog munA!
Author: aLmich
Kagabi may nang-away sa isa kong kaibigan sa net, so ako naman pinagtanggol ko... ang reply sakin nung salarin? eto "hoy kaw bakla ka tigilan mo kakaingles saken dahil di bagay sayo...muka ka namang bisaya gyud!" Aray!
Masaya ang inuman kagabi, birthday ni Ayeng. Lasingan talaga. Ako, roan, bessy, car and bf [jon], dai, bj, ate [di uminom]. May umiyak, may okrayan, pero siyempre mas marami tawanan. May mas tumibay na friendship,may mas na confirm na pagkakaibigan.
Basta masaya talaga kahit na maraming kaibigan ang namimiss na talaga.
Nakakatuwa lang.
Salamat sa isang gabi ng inuman.
Salamat sa mga kaibigan . Kay rOan na nagtanggol at naiyak kakatanggol daw sakin dati nung pinagtutulungan ako nila ikoy, nates at yayeng. [ wala akong sama ng loob ha] Natuwa lang ako sa sinabi ni Bessy, " Al, kahit ano mangyari, si roan, di ka iiwanan".
Kay bessy na kung di pa nagkahiwalay sa boyfriend di ko pa makikita ulit.
Si car na maingay pero sobra inlove sa bf.
Kay ate na always understanding and cool.
Kay dai na may bf na pangalan ay eugene.
Kay ayeng na di daw pababayaan si roan.
Kay bj na pa-kwela.
Haayyy...
> aYeng's biG day!
Author: aLmich
It's rOan's haniku's birthday! just wanna post the pic or I'll be tamad na *he he he... details will follow..
hapi bertdi ayenG!
> coFFee it iS
Author: aLmich
Naka - relate ako dito so I tried posting this...
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university Professor.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the Prof. went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups : porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the Prof. said "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. That all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."
"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it".
So friend, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.
Now I'm missing Nates, Rain, Emman, Au, Car, Bitoy, Gene, Ikoy, Roan and the rest of the gang.
> Love letterS
Author: aLmich
Earlier this day, before Ate Buntis went out to make ninang to a friend's baby, we were chatting about funny moments and stuffs. We then came to a certain topic - "love letters".
While still in the province, I have this bitchy attitude of reading my pinsan's love letters. Tawang-tawa siyempre ako because they have this pattern that goes like...
"Una'y ngiti, pangalawa'y pagbati, pangatlo'y pangangamusta at sariwang alala.. " - as introduction. It felt so weird and hilarious. One more funny thing, even Inggrid knows this... *ha ha ha... I thought sa Occidental Mindoro lang, meron din pala sa Oriental. Phenomenal pala!
Go lover boys!
Then came the question...
How do we define smart and sweet love letter?
Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However,the girl's father does not like him and wants them stop their relationship... and so... the boy wrote this letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter first...
1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend.
"So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 [Odd No.]
So... please try reading it again! It's so smart & sweet.
> Love wHispeR
Author: aLmich
Whispers
by Liza Marie
As I lie here in your sleeping arms
No words spoken
No sound made
Just lying here with you says enough
With your arms around me
Your breath whispering across my face
So warm
Yet so cooling
Your comfort and
Your love surround me
You mean so much to me
I've never felt love so strong
I love looking into your heavenly eyesBut not as much as
I love to gaze upon your angelic face
It fills me up inside
With emotions too great to express
I want to give you my all
Everything I have inside
How can I prove my love to you
Words just aren't enough
You're what I've been waiting for
I've been lonely for so long
But when I'm with you
I know in my heart; my soul, it was worth the wait
The stillness breaks
Your body awakes
You turn over towards me
Your eyes open
They look into mine
They make me glad to be alive
To breathe the same air as you
To touch you
Your soft lips meet mine
They whisper words
I could live forever in"I love you"
My heart melts
I return your kiss
And the words you speak
I return your love
And all that you've given to me
I love you, my sleeping baby.
> missiNg naTes
Author: aLmich
A friend of mine is missing, he suddenly disappeared, the only trace he left behind were the numerous laughs he shared with us, his words, and a farewell text before he was gone. In the meanwhile, I'm home, didn't report to work last night because of the bagyo.
In solemnity, I asked this: How lives can be so limited to the individual that's leading them...
We miss you, Nates. Let's get drunk, just one more time, please. Come back and I'll buy you a drink. Come back and let's talk.
> inLove and siRa
Author: aLmich
I can be such a sucker for love.
I love falling in love, I love rolling in the mud that is the love not answered yet. Maybe, who knows. Maybe he will take me just the way I am. Maybe he won't mind if my kisses aren't what he figured they would be like. Maybe he won't mind if my jokes aren't that funny. Maybe he won't mind I'm not like all those guys he has ever looked at and dreamt about, all those guys I already feel jealous of.
I just hope I can hold him, bury my nose in his hair and slowly dance on the loveballads that make me smile like sira. Headphones and you, that's all I need to be happy right now.
> Love is baCk!
Author: aLmich
After almost ___ months of absence, this post is almost like a visit to the attic, or a peek at old pictures of times long gone. Alienation, recognition, curiosity, nostalgia,.. are a few of the nouns that come to mind: building blocks for a customized sentence yearning to be formed in your head.
"Love, love... has come my way..."
Whatever the sentence, whatever its syntax, its meaning will undoubtedly be true. Here I am, on my nth relationship, fulfilled with the very human and therefore somewhat cute belief that this day marks the beginning of a new phase in life. Although in reality this day is no different than yesterday or tomorrow, I cling to this institutionalised momentum to convince myself of its truthfulness. And while these words and thoughts are almost martially forced onto my current state of mind, I feel their power gradually building up inside me. They march through my veins, fill me with energy. Believing = wanting to believe. Aaaah, the good old battle between reality and idealism. It most definitely is one of my life's themes.
On a sidenote: I've always been inlove with the thought of loving, just thats I can't live it.
I'm back!
> i'M in LOve and LovinG iT!
Author: aLmich
> am i naZi?
Author: aLmich
You know how on Grey's, they call Bailey "The Nazi" behind her back? [And just an aside here, but how great was Chandra Wilson's acceptance speech at the SAG awards? It actually made me tear up a little!]
Don't you sort of feel like the term "Nazi" has started to take on a different meaning altogether? Like, we'll call anybody who's anal, uptight and blunt and harsh-sounding a "Nazi"...which I think is really stupid.And why is it that, if you're super organized and meticulous and detailed, you get called "anal"? Like it's a negative thing.
You know what I really hate?
I hear myself saying things like, "Yeah, I'm a little anal" in a self-deprecating way, as if admitting it upfront makes it seem less bad. Why do I even think it's bad in the first place? I like the fact that I'm organized and thorough and meticulous and on top of things. I think of it as stepping up when so many people like to fall back and defer to others, instead of having an opinion, voicing their opinion, and just getting their act together.
It's all just so stupid.
Good thing Roan and I got hooked sa Grey's Anatomy na yan.
> on thiS rainY daY
Author: aLmich
So, I'm reading a friend of a friend's blog --- he wrote it down for me and asked me to check it out --- and I'm shaking my head and going,
"Oh, no...."
I guess because you have no idea how I sound, you might not hear the groan, the sarcasm, the are-you-kidding-me? intonation injected into the "Oh, no..."
I know I keep saying this, but, man, that Beatles song, "Eleanor Rigby" with the haunting refrain, "All the lonely people...where do they all come from?" floats into my head every now and again. My life is just one endless soundtrack...there's a song for every moment, every day, every person, every experience. It's raining outside and it's one of those grey days where it'd be easy to sink further into a deep depression. But you know what? I feel okay today. I just don't feel like doing anything. I'm listening to Shakira's whatever, whenever, shit ever *hehehe and lying on the couch, reading and feeling kinda sick. That's the story of my life, isn't it? I'm always feeling "sick"... though, if I were to probe a little further, I'd admit that it's more of this weird feeling at the pit of my stomach... like the sense that something's about to happen.
I don't put much stock in it anymore 'cause I always seem to feel like this, you know? Like something's always on the verge of happening... and I'm there, just waiting and waiting... and then nothing happens. A friend of mine texted me this morning. She finally broke up with her boyfriend --- the crazy, stalker psychopath guy. Let's see if she'll be able to make it stick this time around.
Sometimes, I think we've come to this stage in life where... after being single for a long time and then finding someone, we get scared of going back to being single... and it's easier to be with someone you don't quite love simply because it feels like it's better to be with someone than no one at all.
> Let me miNd my owN rainboW
Author: aLmich
*sigh*
Sometimes, it's like you can actually feel your brain rotting.
Or maybe it's just me.
Okay, definitely just me.
Let's not go down that oh-so-familiar road of why I feel like my brain's rotting --- because, when I complain about it, I invariably get a comment berating me about how I seem to just sit on my ass and do nothing but bitch and moan. [And whenever I get comments like that, I always think, "Hold up. How do you know I've just been sitting on my ass, doing nothing but bitching and moaning? There's a whole bunch of other shit that I don't bother writing about down here...so just fuck off. Who asked you to read this anyway?])As some of you might have been able to suss out, I keep more than one blog. Usually, there'll be at least one news item for the day that just pisses me off. [Yes. That required italics just to emphasize the level of disgust and pissed off-ness that certain things inspire in me.]
So, yesterday, I discussed [oh-so-briefly] "worms and my own rainbow".
See, I'm not pathetis, but I believe in appreciating little things. [Okay, hold up. Digressing a bit here... what is up with this woman? There's a woman at work who seems incapable of going anywhere by herself. Like, not even to the washroom by herself. She'll come around and gather up one or two of her buddies to accompany her to the washroom or to go get water from the servery. What's up with that?] And there are these people na wala ng alam ibuka ang bibig kung hindi palibre... I mean, come on... nanglalamang ka na. Mahiya ka naman. Anyway, back to the worm-slash-rainbow thing...yeah, so, my thinking is this: I don't really care what everybody else believes in. Whatever gets you through the day, right? But then someone comes along and is all like, "That statement doesn't make any sense."Whatever. Maybe I should stick to bitching about little things... like how I think women who wear fake finger nails and who dye their hair are just tacky.
> peT me
Author: aLmich
I got home early today. Took a cab home with Vannie and Allan. Braved the "kasungitan ng bagyo at ni Manong Driver na ayaw kami ihatid pauwi". What a morning to start everybodyss day, while we try to get a sleep. Whew! hirap talaga graveyard shift no?
I need to buy something so while on my morning walk, down the strip of road that led to a dead end. This even-steven road with no tricky twists and turns came after two uphill climbs and a downhill run in between, so this is where I had like a resting-strut before a final climb and a final downhill run after which I headed back home
On this road, just before I turned right at the corner, the sprinklers came off and I saw my rainbow. Well it wasn't really a rainbow. It was an arch of colors caught in the prism between the water and the sunlight. Nobody else could see it because it was just at that spot and I was the only one there at that exact minute. So I claimed it as mine. I watched it a while, wondering if I'd catch it on film.After a few minutes, I went on my way. Now, down this road too, the pavement would often be littered with the curled-up, stiff bodies of little earthworms. The sight of these things didn't really bother me, I didn't find them icky at all. But this morning, for the first time since I started taking these morning walks, I saw one little worm crawling towards me. I stopped and squatted to watch it for a while, I would even have petted it if I didn't abhor slime. Yup, definitely a non-dead, non-curled-up, non-stiff, crawling little worm.I'd say... the world has come alive for me today.
Well, 'Good morning, Manila!'
> afTer Long hiaTus
Author: aLmich
After a long hiatus, I am itching to start writing again. I have a lot to say about some exciting prospects I'm seeing [*duh], some exciting projects I'm seeing [and working on], some pains I'm coming across in the space [and my thoughts to solutions], and finally some really exciting new announcements.
Stay tuned!
> hayskuL LiFe
Author: aLmich
Found some old high school pics when I stumbled upon my high school batch’s group site… Boy, the memories just started flowing…!
Thought I’d share them with you guys… see if you can find me in the images… hahaha! You can probably see me sporting an eighties hairstyle and that oh so mangyan look on one of them… aarrrgghh!
Ah yes… High School days! Wish I could revisit some of those moments!
Don’t we all?
> soLace
Author: aLmich
It’s been about __ days since I made my last blog post. A lot has happened since then. The past few days has had its share of unfortunate events… and timely revelations. Yet I find no comfort in the fact that these revelations have ultimately helped me realize what I know now, but which I have been blinded to for the longest time.
Everything you gain in life, be it knowledge… experience… or wisdom has a cost. A price to pay. Some even come at an expense much higher than others.
I value my relationships… relationships strengthened by trust through the course of time. Friendships … and I mean “true” friendships in particular are the ones hardest to come by. You may sometimes want to make yourself believe that most bonds are “keepers”. But such is not the case as I’ve learned the hard way.
It seems that when you think you’ve figured out the formula to being able to recognize a true and honest friendship, you suddenly fall flat on your face… and hit a dead end. Back to square one, Al!
I’d rather that someone come up to my face and tell me whatever he or she feels rather than avoid the confrontation and invite the confusion of hearsay. But more than anything else… it is most painful when a friend of so many years… a very trusted friend… one whom you’ve considered to be more like family… and someone whom you’ve helped out more than once in every capacity possible, deceives you… betrays you and backbites you just to save his/her skin.
As you can tell by going through this post, I am shooting at all directions… wandering aimlessly… going nowhere. That’s exactly where I am right now… nowhere… lost. Lost to the fact that someone can actually be so true and so false at the same time.
Ahh… such is life and all its twists and turns. How can such things can still hurt you while it's been years already?
As for you, my “two-faced, double-tongued” so-called friend for so many years… it was good knowing you then. I have found solace… knowing now what I didn’t know then… the “real you”.
I believe there’s a lesson to be learned here somewhere… I just know it. Maybe I’m just too hurt right now to be able to figure it out.
Maybe in time…
…in time.
> can'T we just Text it ouT?
Author: aLmich
I remember the first cell phone commercial that promoted the idea of texting. I had the same reaction to that commercial that I had to the Apple ad before promoting personal computers to be used at home. That idea will never fly.
Good thing no one consults me for the technological future.
To me, texting equalled a retreat into darkness. Telephones made people not present, present, through the ease of talking, voice, intonation and all that stuff that makes it feel like you have the person right with you. The only thing missing were visuals, which the Jetsons and Bell telephone assured us were just around the corner.
So what happened to the video phone?
It tumbled into outer "failed idea" darkness and instead, text messaging crawled from the murky depths... the next link in technological evolution.
But the middle aged among us all ask: why would someone go to the trouble of typing on tiny keys [with inscrutable letters], navigating the triple alphabet per button to convey what could be expressed in ten seconds directly, without waiting for a reply?
Apparently the answer to that question is: safe distance.
A Sunday Service at Makati Baptist Church before, tackled that this generation of freshmen is less confrontational than any they can remember. These kids avoid conflict and refuse to express what they need/want in person, directly, eye-to-eye. They've been raised in an era of diversity and tolerance and know that people with character ought not to judge. They know this not as a Sunday school lesson, but as the essential social rule that they must obey, or at least appear to obey.
Instant Messaging [first] and texting after it led to a way to communicate hard things: gossip, insults, praise, flirting, I love you, racism, homophobia, want to go out? and more. You could appear to be courteous, friendly, "not interested" and tolerant in person, but unleash that other side of self through typing. Somehow the dark side of each person's soul had an outlet... an accepted one that didn't tarnish your public reputation.
Addtionally, flirting became a much lower risk endeavor. Saving face, much easier.
Texting also led to communicating with lots of people at once. No more were you forced to keep going with one person on the other end of the phone, enduring the awkward silence, deciphering what that long pause meant. If the IM conversation with one person peetered out, you had four more cooking along to replace it. If the texter suddenly had to climb into that orthodontist's chair, three more conversations were still demanding your attention.
I still remember two disgruntled dorm mates who sat directly across from each other in the same room texting angry messages over roommate problems until the landlady shouted: Stop! and required them to put down their phones and learn how to communicate what was bugging them in words, eye-to-eye. That's where it's gone. No one wants to appear angry in person. So they resort to texting instead. JB, my ex is really very good in texting and fights me like a soldier using his cellphone but cannot do so infront of my face. Unfortunately, I'm not the texter type.
I do respect that people at times plunge into texting like in a marathon. What I don't get is when people tend to send you all the quotes, group texts, watevas all at a time or every now and then. My cousin Grace texts me everyday in dozens! Forwarded messages of quotations, simple rants, simple expressions like sighs, boredoms, *he he he, hellos and all craps. I love the idea that she remembers me but she was doing that without considering if I might be sleeping or specially if I'm at work. I kept it to myself, just trying to understand her incessant texting but one day, I just exploded. I advised her not to include me na lang on her group texts muna kse bawal sa office or minsan natutulog ako. Nagalit siya. See? I don't turn off my phone because I don't wanna miss important messages or maybe if there's an emergency. Pero, yong tadtarin ka ng mga messages na di naman talaga sila gumawa at not really meant to converse? Come on.
Siguro wala kang magawa, bored, o mahilig lang talaga magtext pero hello! ako nagtatrabaho sa gabi, tulog sa araw... And you're texting like that? Consideration naman. Magigising ako pag natutulog or magtatago sa table kapag just to check my message pero ang laman eh "may 2 lalake, ilan ang paa?" *Grrrr... or "ei! who's awake? lolz, im outta here.." *Duh!
In our house, the only place you have "Globe" signal is outside or at our window, so imagine how many cellphones sit by the window. Tapos tutunog cellphone mo, babangon ka sa pagkakahiga, pag-check mo joke pala galing kay Mami Chu, after few minutes, toot toot, bangon ka ulit, "happy fekfek day" okay..., toot toot ulit, "Anak: tay, bakit po naririnig ko umuungol kagabi si Inday? Tatay: kase anak, kinain ko siya... " oh my siguro binangungot na kase di na alam kung natutulog pa siya or gising sa dami ng texts na puro jokes lang pala or forwarded *he he he. I love Mami Chu and I do appreciate the fact that when I asked her na tanggalin ako sa group messages eh naintinduhan niya. Pero yong pinsan ko? Well, may newborn baby siya at siguro nga bored diba? Haaayyyy....
Sana lang kasabay ng pagpindot sa keypads yong bilis ng ikot ng utak para naiintindihan naman nila kalagayan ng ibang tao no?
There are rules in texting. When I asked a friend to call me and closed with a period, she thought I was angry. I thought I was using proper punctuation. According to Johannah, periods mean you're bugged. Jb is also guilty on this. He doesn't know how punctuations are used.
A greeting without an exclamation point means that you're in a blue mood. All caps mean you're shouting.
Typing with misspellings has fallen into disrepute among upperclassmen in high school and college students. Abbreviations like "u r" and "LOL" are shunned because they're so junior high. These "near adults" pride themselves on spelling properly [and all the English teachers cheered!].
College kids will not answer their phones even when they hear them ring and have nothing else to do, but will text you back in the middle of class, a date, during a movie or while driving[!].
And those camera phones! DJ sends me photos when she shops for clothes to get my advice. Luke sends me photos of things that make him laugh. I send photos of the kids to Luke because he lives away.
I'm about the laziest text-er to ever inhabit a modern society. But I'm committed. The best thing about texting that I can see is that it's instant and brief. If I need that moment-by-moment touch but haven't got time for a long conversation, texting fills the bill.
Texting and camera phones. If you invested way back then, I'll bet you're rich. Next time you need technological foresight, ask me what I think, and do the opposite.
> wHo neeDs chaOs?
Author: aLmich
“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” ~Nietzsche
If that be the case, I have given birth to an entire universe of dancing stars. My life seems to be defined by chaos. But I have come to realize that I would not want it any other way. And perhaps chaos is not the right word to use, because it has such a negative connotation. It is really just change. Perpetual motion.
I say all these just to excuse the fact that I have not been posting as often as I would like [plus the fact that our Globe broadband has been in chaos for almost 2 weeks now] and I expect that will be the case for the next month or so. You see…
1) I'm starting to get used to my new campaign - Superpages.com;
2) I have a good feeling that I'll meet someone today or maybe the next's;
3) I started learning again the art of Photoshop and have committed myself to immersing myself in the experience as much as possible;
4) I have to research and write a humongous paper for a friend and because I want it to be super-duper scholarly and impressive I might need to spend a little bit of time of it.
That said, I am really looking forward to all of the events listed above. The Superpages thing, which one would think would be the most planned-out decision on the list [because it's the most dreaded and avoided], is actually quite spur of the moment. But then again I have always made life-altering decisions that way. I will be obsessed for days about whether to buy blue drapes or brown drapes but I will tack up for buying the next thing I laid my eyes on with hardly a moment’s quibble. I ordered my new cellphone last week although I still have one without further consideration to my expenses and debts. Some might say that is tad impulsive. Yeah, I know they will be right [been through a lot of these].
But my life has changed so much over the last year. My focus has changed. I moved to a new apartment with friends thinking that I “needed” to live somewhere else. That I “needed” a cute new place with lots of character. I was going through an identity crises - who is this single ME? This "divorcee"? Who am I? As with most processes, I focused first on outwardly expressions. I felt compelled to move as a way to express all of the changes going on in my life at the time. I had an intense need to redefine. On my own terms. I needed to be out of the place I shared with my cousin for quite sometime, out of the campaign I used to love. Out of the neighborhood, of the "MX" team. I would have even moved out of the city if an opportunity came [Baguio?].
Things change.
I was making a lot more money than I am now and I had an ex who's pissing me now. I'm in a new home in the middle of everything. Location. Location. Location. Friends.
Things change.
I might be in a new set of people, befriending everyone, kissing everyone who wanted it... sometimes I feel so "new" and "OP" but that gave me my life back. My ex decided he no longer wanted to be "nice" and that oh so perfect-bait guy and that he did not really mind falling into the category of “deadbeat ex.”
And most importantly I changed. I realized now that I don't really need to stick to some of my friends just to be hurt. That friends really go and go against you. I realized, I don't need to be that martyr just to be happy. And I will be much less stressed out if I can save at least every month in living expenses.
So here I go, downsizing my outward life in an attempt to create more inward harmony.
It feels good to let go of material things. There is real power in the act of surrender.
Things change-D.
> PMS
Author: aLmich
Hurting All Over
Oh God.
I can feel it starting.
I wrote about him before. Through my "snoring" post. That Mr. Dubai thing.
The whole please-strike-me-dead feeling, which makes me think that dealing with the onset of PMS *[Post Mr. Dubai Syndrome], with the depression and wild mood swings and whatnots, is a walk in the park compared to all these office craps that I go through everyday. I mean, on a good month, all I feel is being safe, happy and away from too-pressuring- work and that bitchy whore sa office. But this? This makes me feel like I'm going through heroin withdrawal.
And to make matters worse, punyeta sa lamig ang office namin *[sirang thermostat? o balat kalabaw talaga ang mga tao?].
I can feel in my bones that I'm going to wind up one of those old broads who has arthritis one day. And I'm feeling so fucking cold that I can't seem to stop shaking --- which just makes me seem jittery and high.
Okay.
Think about something else.
Um... I'm sneak-reading "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey sa net sa office. God. I've never done drugs, but I get what he's going through. Lucky me. I get to go through this every night at work without having to abuse drugs or alcohol. My work just do this to me... and it makes me feel intensely sorry for myself.
And earlier, someone made abot this "Donate Your Kidney" fliers. Whaaattt? Early morn, tired from work, naglalakad sa Ortigas -- eto matatanggap kong invitation? Man, I need a fuck! *[pun may be intended]
