ramblings, random musings, fascinations, rants, raves and revelations

I just had another encounter with someone of different kind. I don’t know what’s in her or with her. She plays a know-it-all kind of attitude. I wouldn’t mind being corrected [especially if I'm really at fault] just make sure you raise it on the right venue or say it in a nice way. I don’t know if I’ll just try to understand that she’ll be dying alone, withered and untouched anyway but I just hate really hate her and her ways. We’ve had some issues before which were just settled not so long ago and now she started again. Haaaayyyy…

There are plenty of different types of coworkers, and unfortunately, not all of them are pleasant or fun to be around. Part of working in an office is learning how to deal with difficult coworkers, and if you haven’t mastered the art of “playing nice”, you have a rough career ahead. Out of all the unpleasant colleagues I can think of, the worst is the Know-It-All coworker.

A Know-It-All coworker is a person who has to be “right” about everything, regardless of how much proof exists to the contrary of his or her beliefs. This is the type of human being who will argue a point to the end of time, refusing to give an inch despite the number of people who dispute his or her theory.

When you have a Know-It-All coworker in your midst, you have to learn how to deal with the situation amicable. It helps to understand the coworker’s motivation, but above all, you have to think of your own career. If all of your energy is expended in frustration by your coworker’s antics, your productivity will go down the toilet and you might find yourself out of a job.

Most Know-It-All coworkers obtain the majority of their satisfaction by instigating and “winning” arguments. They feel a sense of fulfillment when another person backs down in favor of their position, even if they only managed to “win” the argument by frustrating the other person. Rather than using logic to argue their points, they try to throw people off-balance.

The best medicine against this type of assault is to maintain a stoic attitude. Don’t get emotionally invested in arguments and debates; instead, take an apathetic perspective. It isn’t as satisfying to hear, “Whatever you say”, as, “Okay, I give up, you’re right!”, so don’t bother trying to convince them that they are wrong. Instead, let your Know-It-All coworker know that you don’t have time to play games and that you have work to do.

What you also have to understand is that your Know-It-All coworker might think that he has all the answers, but he will invariably be proven wrong in the end. When things don’t turn out the way he predicted, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that for all his bluster, nothing ever came of it. If, on the other hand, you allow yourself to be goaded into arguments, you’ve simply become the very thing you detest.

My Boss asked us to stop the exchange of emails and talk about it personally which was exactly my point. If you have issues especially not work related [or not "program related" at least on our case] you can just talk to me personally and I’ll always be thankful for the criticisms but please not through emails with our Manager and Supervisor copied. Epal! Kaka-stress!

Tanga! I used to do a lot of stupid things when I was younger. Fortunately, I don’t do stupid things now quite as often as an adult, but I still do them.

My mother tells me when I was a toddler I used to climb on unfinished wood in our backyard and then cry when she pulled the splinters out of my hand… and then I’d go back and climb on the same unfinished wood.

One time in Kindergarten, I didn’t go to school and didn’t take my exams because our Yaya teased me of not being able to memorize a simple thing like even our home address. It wasn’t a great idea. It was a dumb idea.

Then there was that time in college I spent all my whole week’s allowance shopping for pillows and comforters. That was dumb. My Tita even told me - “Hala, matulog ka nalang buong linggo!”

Well, just earlier, I was having my dinner and coffee while totally engrossed watching TV. My phone rung so I hurried to my room to get it. When I got back I just sat on the table without even checking ’twas free of clutter or anything. My eyes were fixed on the TV screen and was even laughing on the character played by a singkit actress. Suddenly I felt a sharp and burning sensation down my ass. I sat on my coffee and it’s frying my buns like hell! I ran back to my room and took off my shorts, and started jumping as I freaked out. So instead of doing what a smart person would do [run to bathroom and wash it with cold water] I decided to just stupidly jump and jump and yell of the pain. It was already late when I realized what I should have done. Now, I have fried buns and cursing myself for the stupidity.

I’m an idiot.

You live and learn. Well, hopefully you learn…

A lady friend kept on bugging me earlier on which gifts will be best for her boyfriend. My “guy” has been asking me if I appreciate flowers. I told him that I might as well wear gown if he’s giving me such, which of course gave him my answer. I just don’t like the idea of receiving flowers. I thinks it’s really a girl-y thing and I don’t wanna be one.

Valentine’s Day has always been a favorite with cynics! Each year this day draws near, there are some sections of people who take out their knives and go on the offensive. They have a problem with everything connected to Valentine’s Day. They don’t like the idea of giving gifts, more so because there’s this recession which seems to have the final say in everything! They don’t like the “mushy” stuff and they feel that you can express your love any day of the year! They may have a point somewhere, but they do stretch it too far sometimes.

I think it all depends on the individual’s choice. If you are in favor of doing something special on Valentine’s Day, go ahead and do it. If you feel that it’s not your cup of coffee, so be it. I’m sure there are lots of ways in which you can still say how much you love your significant other. And you can do that throughout the year. The point I’m trying to make here is, each to his or her own. Similarly there are lots of people who go crazy as the day draws near. They splurge money unnecessarily to get stuff they don’t need. Men say that they’re really pressured to do something, and women say that they’re disappointed. Some even send themselves flowers and cards [like Mr. Bean!] just so that they don’t look like they’re left out. I know a few of them who even borrow money to get gifts for their love! That’s just a lot of hassle don’t you think?

Would you consider me cynic then?

[Wikipedia] : Confusion, of a pathological degree, usually refers to loss of orientation [ability to place oneself correctly in the world by time, location, and personal identity] and often memory [ability to correctly recall previous events or learn new material]. Confusion as such is not synonymous with inability to focus attention, although severe inability to focus attention can cause, or greatly contribute to, confusion. Together, confusion and inability to focus attention [both of which affect judgment] are the twin symptoms of a loss or lack of normal brain function [mentation].

After all my efforts with actually trying to land a mate, wouldn’t it just be such a shame for me to lose an opportunity because I’m afraid to trust the motives of someone interested? That’s where I am today.

I have no idea how to fall into something with possibilities and just, well, BE. I seem to find myself wondering, second-guessing, and anticipating the shoe to drop. Depending on your beliefs, we technically only have one physical life. I don’t want to live it never trusting again.

It really isn’t the bitterness of past failed serious relationships that is my problem anymore. There was most assuredly a time when I didn’t necessarily hate it, but more to the point — I tried very hard to keep a thinly veiled guard up. I was always waiting for when they would hurt me. For a time I just stopped believing.

Now the issue here is trusting if whether or not advances, interests and their attention are genuine. I believe it’s an enormous waste of effort, time and yes, even money, if in the end I sabotage things before they have begun! I don’t fear commitment for what it implies. I just fear the possibility of a let-down. More to the point — a devastation. Jumping in with both feet and eyes semi-closed is new to me. I think the ME, that ME in his younger years, was quite good at that. Too good. And now that he has reached nearly a maturing age, putting his big toe in the water is how he would rather start.

So what’s bothering me now is the question - should I or shouldn’t I? I already started being sweet and all too accomodating to him but at the back of my head, I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing or just letting myself be prone to pains and hardships again.

However why is it that I’ve dived in full on, but can’t mentally get past dipping my big toe in the uncharted waters of an actual possibility?

Anyway, I’ll just wait and see. Yeah, wait and see.

I’m a really touchy person. Maybe because Mama brought us up to be sweet and loving. I can still remember when we were young, Mama will always be there to hug us and comfort us through the night. When someone is sick, she will always make you feel better by her hugs and kisses of comfort. We call it Mother’s touch. Valentines Day is coming and I’m sure there’ll be a lot of huggings and kissings that will be happening. What will happen next for some will be another story [pun intended], am I gonna have one? A hug can speak a thousand words. I woke up to the medical effects of hugging after a little nudge from a friend. With the Heart’s Day coming up, I read up on it myself. I realized that it was actually true that a hug can make you feel healthier and there is a marked positive change in the mental state of a person who has hugged or who has been hugged. There were a lot of studies on how babies need to be hugged and the amount of hugs they get shape their personalities.

And that’s not it, hugs are really useful and healthy! For instance, a hug can stabilize your blood pressure, even if for a short period of time. It can reduce stress and bring you out of your depression. But most importantly, it can do wonders for you when you want to show that you care and you are concerned. Especially a friend who is going through a tough phase in her life.

Hmmm… now I feel so blessed that even though Mama is far away, I have good office friends whom I can always share my love with. I love you Gay, Zelot, Almsie, Kelly, Nina, Abi, Evette, Abhi, Ron, Carol, Liz, Lanie, Gen and Ed [this one I can't hug, nobody dares].

Seven more days and the town will be painted red again. As Valentine’s Day comes close, some of you could be in a sort of dilemma like some people I know. It’s nothing abnormal or uncommon, rather it’s something that can happen to anyone of you. Okay, to cut the long story short, I’m talking about falling in love with a friend. A guy friend started off his equation with a lady friend as a friend, but now he wants that to bloom into love. But he’s unsure of how he will approach and while he gathers enough steam to go up and tell her about his feelings, he wants to keep things under wraps. He doesn’t want his face or words to betray his emotions. He’s worried about causing hurt to her by making unreasonable and unjustified demands on her time. And I think, he’s right here.

There are sometimes when such things happen. Why, just a few weeks back I asked H out! That was a wrong step that I took. I don’t want any of you to hasten things up in these cases because once the good rapport is somehow hampered, it requires a lot of effort to get that spontaneous friendship again. If you guys are in a similar knot, I’d suggest you to take it easy and be as normal as you can. If you find it difficult to contain your feelings, discuss it with your friend frankly, making it clear at the same time that your feelings are entirely yours and you have no intention of making it an extra baggage to your friendship.

This takes the pressure off your friend who’s confused by your confession. Then you can talk it out like two mature people. Try to understand your friend. You wouldn’t want to hurt your friend by trying to prove you are right. Let this discussion not affect the friendship and whatever you do, stay away from emotional blackmail or corny lines! They only make you look like a person who believes in the grab-and-snatch method. Maintain dignity at all costs and who knows, your maturity in handling this might as well get you your love!

Hmmm… now I’m thinking. Should I go out with that Maysilo guy friend who has been asking me out for a movie date later? I already told Abhi about it and I know whe would always want me to be happy. Hmmm… lemme think things over.

Not wanting to feel the sadness of being away from my friends [Kiko, Ralf and Jc] I decided to join Z on a photoshoot. It was from the group Konzepto. I really enjoyed it and would really love to join them again.

My mind’s not working good with words now so let these behind-the-scene-pictures do the talking.

All my thanks to Z and Konzepto people.

I grew up to be a little bit on the opinionated side, and for the past years I have been writing my own thoughts here, so you can bet I have heard and participated in a lot of debates about whether it is right and/or effective to evangelize to gain more “converts” or not.

The evangelism [for religion, relationships, personal musings or anything else] usually comes from good intentions. Although sometimes it can feel to the person being evangelized to that the intention is more “I’m right, and you’re wrong, and you’d better see things my way”; the intention is usually more, “I didn’t realize what I was missing until I saw this, so I want you to see it too.”

I have an entry here which gained attention from somebody who has comprehension problems. I wrote about “longka/longkatuts/house helpers” and how I see them and how I think they should be treated. My intention is to give my gratitude and to suggest how WE can improve our relationship with them. But this certain person who obviously cannot understand what I really intend to say took it the other way around. I don’t know if she’s a “longka” or just somebody who happens to have so little brain to understand what I really meant. I really feel bad for her. I can’t understand her argument but I’m still giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I was an argumentative child and adolescent, and even though I thought I had some pretty good arguments, logic, and examples, there were few arguments I ever won or lost. Pretty soon I realized that arguments for the purposes of convincing someone to adopt a new outlook or change her mind are a waste of time. Arguments as intellectual exercises or fun pastimes are fine. And you can sometimes bully someone into giving up fighting you, but you haven’t really changed her mind. You’ve just intimidated her.

So if you’re someone who truly thinks “I didn’t realize what I was missing until I had this” instead of “Haha! I’m right and you’re wrong”; think about the last time you changed your mind on an issue or decided to try something new. What was the impetus for that change? Was it someone arguing with you? How did you start seeing things in a different way or open yourself up to trying a new product or lifestyle?

For me [I won’t even try to speak for anyone else] — whether it was my outlooks on race and gender, my choice of handling a relationship, or my beliefs in life — any time I opened myself up to something new or changed my mind, it had nothing to do with getting into arguments with people. In fact, when folks argued with me, I tended to cling more strongly to the familiar than to open myself up to something new.

I change my mind or embrace something new when I come to it instead of it coming to me. I need the resources to come to, of course, but I need to come to those resources. I don’t want someone knocking on my door trying to sell me something. I don’t want a friend pestering me to switch to something or to change my mind about something. I do want, however, many books and websites available on the topic. I want the pros and cons clearly laid out in as unbiased a fashion as is humanly possible.

Thus, in the spirit of the golden rule, I’m going to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. I will write my opinions and leave them here as a resource. If you disagree with me, I don’t want to get into a futile argument with you. You can lay out your own opinions, and I will read them when I am free to read them. You can also read my opinions when you’re free to read them.

I’m being stupid again. Last night H texted me “Where have you been? saw you came out of the lift earlier. Who’s in GA?” Weird as it may sound but I felt good when I received that. Knowing our current status, I couldn’t help but to still feel the kilig. We’ve been into a relationship but failed to stay committed and so we chose to separate ways. Now I’m single and somehow enjoying it. One great thing about being single is not having to worry about all the relationship questions couples have to worry about. All of those restrictions of freedom, the constant compromise, the worries about trust — singles don’t have those issues. More to the point our issues are different like, “I just got invited to so and so’s party, and I need a date. Hum…” There are so many advantages to being single but some things can be inconvenient. Namely the worse being, as I stated in an earlier post, is who to trust with your loins!

But what happens when it seems that you may be getting involved again? I don’t necessarily believe that my discovery of “the new relationship” is a direct result of bitterness. Maybe at first [I will readily admit!] but that is not what it has evolved into. I will say that because of the repeat offenders to my reluctantly trusting heart, I have continued to be gun-shy. When someone comes along –again– wanting to be in my life, I am apprehensive. The difference now is that I’ve realized that I’m fine alone, which only pushes me to risk a potential relationship again. Because of my “single being the new relationship” discovery, I hope to handle things if they don’t go my way, which wasn’t always the case before.

Just because I know that life is simpler being alone, I’m not going to lie to you all and say single for life is something I want. Single being the new relationship is about being OK with oneness. So much so that when a relationship pops up, you are ready to be alone again if things go wrong. That may not seem very romantic or optimistic, but if you dissect the idea, it really is. The optimism is looking forward to getting back to YOU if/when relationships don’t work out. Too many times I’ve let myself cry in a pillow. You can cry. But stop after a day or so. Understanding single has so many benefits can guard you from pain later. And if you have the attitude of not making that person in your life the solution to anything and see he or she as an asset to your life instead of a completion, I believe the trust and relationship can be stronger.

While having our regular yosi break with Z earlier, the usual kuwentuhan lead us to so many issues but the last thing that I still remember is when I said “I’m not ready for another serious relationship again” which is of course true. I can’t see myself being stupidly in love again.

That said taking the risk of coupledom is feasible, prepared and overall better because you know that you were a whole person before the opportunity of relationships comes knocking.

By the way, here’s my number +639277****** hahahahaha.

A couple of heavyweight bloggers recently had their knuckles rapped over subpar grammar skills. The debate, predictably, turned to, “If people understand what’s being communicated, why does it matter?” I don’t get this person’s argument.

Of course, I march with the grammar goon squad on this one. Casual conversation doesn’t requite good grammar, true, but writing for a mass audience does. [Copy editors sometimes have to silence their overzealous deskmates with, "Edit copy, not speech!" Even the correctors need a break from correction.] I am not a perfect grammarian myself but at least I know the simple ones. I also submit my entries to people to at least help me correct it.

Puny grammar always makes the writer look bad. If a blogger doles out information that’s desperately needed, it’s a lot easier to be forgiving. But when his or her readers have other choices, the smart ones will wander off.

I can sympathize. I slept through grammar in grade school, even in high school and then wrote for a half dozen years using D-student grammar and sloppy spelling. I got away with it because of my “friend” editors, who wielded mighty pencils. But please don’t try to humiliate somebody about wrong grammar while your simple statements can’t even differentiate a verb from a noun.

Kiko left for Atlanta today. While checking his luggages if he’s got all what he needed, we were singing this. I was a bit teary and really sad. While I was on my way to his place, Skad texted me - “Wer u na?, Lungkot ako, di na ako mapakali.” I of course understand what he’s feeling. Ako na bestfriend sobrang lungkot na eh siya pa.

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
Cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
but I tell you baby, they dont mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
Cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
And close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave you alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
Cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

I can’t still believe until now na umalis na siya. After sending him to the airport, I and Skad were just quiet. When I got back to the office, that was when it hit me. I really cried in the comfort room, still teary eyed when I talked to Abhi. I think she felt it that was why she checked on me. Haaayyy.. life.

We’ll be missing you Kiko. Ingat ka palagi.

This is silly I know but forgive me. I still have the right to be one at times right? I drank my last can of Diet Coke with Lime [why with lime? that's another story] today. I am attempting to give up my beloved Diet Coke because of three reasons.

1) Caffeine.

2) Artificial sweeteners.

2) A friend made me do it.

My friend Kiko has been a great influence to me also. He’s into parties but not into drinking. He loves food but doesn’t eat too much. I admire his drive over things. Too bad he’s leaving tomorrow. Hatid ko siya sa airport later so half shift ako now. My reading lately has also led me to believe that caffeine leads to a surge in insulin and thus an increased appetite. I don’t like coffee but I have grown pretty dependent on the caffeine in Diet Coke. In fact, if I don’t get my daily fix of noon-time caffeine, I get a headache. Not a good sign, right? So I am gently attempting to back away from the Diet Coke. Nothing legalistic– I’ll probably have Diet Coke at the movies, still–but I’m not going to buy it by the case anymore.

Artificial sweeteners are less of a concern for me. I don’t believe that I am affected by them although I am aware of the research and articles we could immediately produce [thank you, Google] to show how sweeteners might kill us before our time. I’m more scared of diabetes and heart disease than I am of artificial sweeteners. I guess it’s a case of picking your poison. Still. There is some indication that artificial sweeteners might cause a craving for sugar and maybe even cause an insulin reaction.

I have very few vices, aside from eating as much as I can while listening to my mp3s at volume 8. That and the Diet Coke and seeing too many movies in the theater even though it would be so much cheaper to see them on DVD at home. It’s all about balance and making choices with full awareness.

So, I’m giving up Diet Coke with Lime. If I’m kind of grumpy tomorrow, you’ll know why. [I reserve the right to resume my Diet Coke addiction in the future. Just because I can.]

So on March 2 [that's my birthday], no coke din. Hahaha… I’ll try.

I was reading David Archuleta earlier when someone very familiar caught my attention. I’ll let you read it then.

[This is just a part of the blog entry] “P.S. Before I go I wanted to mention one thing real quick. I was hanging out at my house when my parents called me in to watch a story on Oprah about this girl named Charice. I had seen her on youtube before and she was at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, but it was amazing to hear her story and her voice! She seriously has one of the best voices I’ve heard in a long time, and I had chills the entire time I was watching about her life. So instead of a song for the day I think you should check her out! It’s more like a person for the day haha. She was really inspiring and for those of you who haven’t heard her yet I think you’re in for a real treat! She sang My Heart Will Go On during her appearance on Oprah, and it’s amazing to see how much passion she has for what she does! I also loved how she talked about how important her mom was to her. I hope you guys enjoy!”

So there!

Anyway she has been into different appearances already. Obama’s Pre-Inaugural Ball was the latest. Check these videos.

Good Morning America

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Carousel of Hope

Obam’s Pre-Inauguration Ball

Free as a bird, welcome to my fairy land.

As I prepare to be home today, finishing all my work responsibilities, slouching on my seat, and my mp3 turned up, I noticed that my devilish side has been particularly prominent the last few weeks. I just can’t shake it. I really had wanted to bank such behavior for weekend exploits, but I am simply unable to stop it. I don’t know it I’m being rebellious because H has been bugging me again although I would admit I’m enjoying the attention. I also realized that no matter how well you think you’ve got the game figured out, someone’s bound to come along and rewrite the rules on you — a conversation that’s been repeated as of late. But then again, all’s fair in lust and war, right? So, some people practice deception because they like the attention. But be careful: guile is a double edged sword and neither edge is nice. As for me, I too frequently have been thrust into a single role by boys, and the attractive distractor one is beginning to bore me. Actually, I’ve never met a person who’s allowed me to be everything I am with him… too bad, because that would be quite an adventure. I’m one of those spirits that doesn’t like things to get boring. So…maybe I’ll just put that naughty streak to work and stir things up a bit. Oh, I do love a good intrigue [in every meaning of this fabulous word].

Music that fits my mood: “Touch My Body” by Hot ‘n Cold; “Hot ‘n Cold” by Katy Perry.

And oh, have you seen the new “Touch My Body” video? Trust me it’s SUPERB!

I invited a friend last Sunday to join me for a Sunday Service. I fetched him and while on our way to the church, he told me that he was about to send me an SMS - to also invite me to come with him but at the same time wishing that I decline the invitation or that I won’t text back. I then asked him “ayaw mo ba talaga magsimba?” he just laughed.

A lot of us go to church. But why do we go to church? What is the purpose? Some people go to church their whole lives, but what have they gained? Some people go to a different church every Sunday, finding it hard to settle down. Many complained, “I don’t feel like I’m being fed”, or, “I just don’t feel encouraged”, or maybe even, “I just don’t fit in there”.

What is church for? What is supposed to be happening when we walk through those doors on Sunday? Are we supposed to get “fed”? Are we supposed to feel “encouraged”? Should we “fit in”?

Personally, since I spent my Kindergarten to my High School years in Baste and lived with my Uncle [a Pastor] when I was in college, I have understood what Church-ing really means.

First off, what is the church? What is a basic definition that we can work off of? If you look up the word in a dictionary, it says something about a building and that it can refer to the whole body of believers if it is capitalized.

But what does the Bible say? In Colossians 1:18 along with verse 24 it states that the church is the body of Christ. And who is the body of Christ? “Now you are Christ’s body, and each of you is a member of it” [1 Corinthians 12:27]. Who? “…those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, and called to be saints, with all those in every place who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours” [1 Corinthians 1:2].

So the church is the body of Christ, but what does that mean? It means, that we who are believers are Christ’s, we belong to His body. It is not that we are literally His body, but rather the words express a part of the greater reality. We are Christ’s body, and that is important - for it tells us who the Church belongs to - we are Christ’s. Not just any body, but Christ’s body. The focus is not on our independence, or even our dependence on each other, but on our dependence on Christ. Apart from Christ there is no Church, we are “members of Christ” [1 Corinthians 6:15], we are members of the body of Christ. Christ exists without us, but we gain our life from Him. These truths are confirmed in Scripture as we read that God has given Jesus, “to the church as head over all things” [Ephesians 1:22]. Christ is the head and is the One from whom “the whole body, supported and knit together through its ligaments and sinews, grows with a growth that is from God” [Colossians 2:19]. The Church is not equal to Christ, Christ rules over it, and yet there is a beautiful unity. Christ is the source of the life that is given to the body, and therefore, Christ and the body are one.

The outcome of this is that the Church must always look to Christ for its orders, for the head gives the orders. If something does not receive its instructions from the head, it is not considered a functioning part of the body. So it is with the Church.

So what does this all mean? When I walk into church on Sunday, what should I be thinking? What should I be doing? First of all, I must understand that the church is Christ’s and not mine, therefore, when I am tempted to criticize or complain I must shut my mouth and first consider if Jesus shares my complaint or if I am acting as though I own the church.

Second, I must do what the Head has commanded, and not give myself orders or order other people to do things that are not in-line with Christ.

Third, I must thank the Lord of the Church for the life He has given, and remember that my strength, my health, and my gifts are not my own.

So there it is, a bit of a slow start, but a start anyway. I’m not trying to lift up myself or in anyway insinuate that I’m a saint but I just wanna share this. I hope next time we will all be going to the church with our hearts desire to really be with him and join him in the celebration of the Holy Mass. Amen!

January always seems like a letdown of sorts for me. The latter part of November and all of December are spent on gatherings, parties, exchange gifts, decorating, eating inordinate amounts of food, and taking in a veritable orgy of christmas dvds. Come January, we’re forced to settle back into our routines and make friends with the treadmill to work off all those extra calories we consumed.

January also signals it’s time to pay the piper for all the presents we bought. Credit card bills start arriving in the mail, seemingly to drain our pockets. It didn’t seem like much when we were making one purchase at a time, but once they are all added up… WOW! I found myself cash-strapped over the next few months.

Like many others, my mind is still in a haze, recovering from the holiday marathon. Three more containers of brisket, ham, cheese and salads remain untouched . Until I’m finished with the leftovers, I promised not to see the grocery store and add anything to our fridge. I even promised never to see brisket again until next December.

Other highlights :

We had an early Christmas Party and it was a blast.

We exchanged gifts and I love what I received from Almsie and also from Cj.

Spent the Christmas here in Manila and went home to the province for New Year.
Met some of my High School friends when I attended Toti’s birthday.
Enjoyed hanging out with my younger cousins and Aunties.

It was really an unremarkable vacation for me.
Too bad my brother’s wife had a miscarriage that we spent 4 days in the hospital.

Well, I’m convinced there’s really no place like home. Or at least if it’s anything like the way I spent the last two weeks of the Christmas holiday. It’s pronounced “no work.” No thinking about work. No answering e-mails. No job-related to-do lists. No NOs.

Don’t know, don’t care, I’m at home in loungewear.

It was such a relaxing time, even with family dropping in, friends stopping by, the holidays, the festivities.

I would wake early in the morning before anyone was up, grab as many newspapers as I could get my hands on or continue reading my book [New Moon and Eclipse of the Twilight Saga], make coffee, and then prop my feet up for a little quality reading time. It would only last about 32 seconds before the dog would scratch at the door asking to be let out [nice timing, dog!]. But it was an amazing 32 seconds. And then I’ll go back to bed again.

I had a to-do list that was as thick as a phone book, didn’t accomplish a single thing on it the whole time, and never once felt guilty or the least bit bothered. It made me realize that the best kind of to-do list is the one you don’t do.

Unfortunately it went by too quick — too fast. I miss being with my family all day and that the biggest decision I had to make was whether I will eat more or not.

“Um, how about both?” my other self would say solving the dilemma. I had the time to meet my high school friends too. It has been a long time since I’ve seen some of them. Toto [who celebrated his birthday], Dagul, Edwin and his brothers, Bilyon and more. It’s always nice to come home to be surrounded by your loved ones, friends and familiar surroundings.

I miss the grubby T-shirts, snack time of lumpia and banana cue, and the fact that teeth brushing was more or less optional… until my Aunt caught wind and nixed my plans. But it was liberating until then.

The highlight of one day was simply playing with my nephew and the neverending chit chats with my family. That was it. We were together and having fun. Maybe that’s when it occurred to me that life is too much about what you’re doing and what you’re getting done, and not enough about just being together and enjoying that simple experience. We’re always in such a rush to get through life that we rarely get the chance to sit back, relax and take it all in. Those two weeks, though, were dedicated to that very simple philosophy, and it made for a memorable experience.

But now it’s back to work, and it’s a tough adjustment. I forgot how to put a belt on my first day. I mis-buttoned my shirt. I wore unmatched socks. I couldn’t even remember where my office was, not to mention what I do there. Luckily there is a sign on the door.

Gone are the early morning coffee sessions and the pancake breakfasts. Gone are the carefree days and the grubby T-shirts. Gone are the strollinh around town and just enjoy the morning breeze.

Mighty nice it was, and I’m not totally ready to let go. So I’m adding to my to-do list a line that reads: “Remember to slow down once in a while and enjoy.” That’s something I might actually accomplish.

I just witnessed another failed relationship. I really feel bad because they’re both my friends and I haven’t been able to save it. I have always been their confidant and a friend to lean on but this time all my attempts to save them failed.

I have been there when it all started [Galera '98] and how it ended yesterday. I know how it feels and how it’s affecting them. I’ve been into one just recently and they have witnessed how I really suffered and how I stood up almost immediately.

I believe nobody enters into a relationship expecting it to fail. At the onset of a budding romance, you expect your feelings of love and happiness to continue to flourish as you learn more about each other, and eventually, the hope for a wonderful future together will develop.

Sometimes the opposite occurs. What seems like a rosy relationship on the surface can be festering with decay beneath. This may be a harsh assessment, but it is in fact the reality of many failed relationships. It could be something as simple as incompatibility, or past issues that interfere in our ability to have a healthy relationship. Or it could be something significantly worse, such as constant lying, or some form of abuse. Regardless of the cause, it is truly a shame when what started as something bright and promising ends with shattered hearts and broken minds.

As you sit nursing your wounds after the downfall of such a relationship, you will undoubtedly hear the catch-phrase from many friends and acquaintances that “time heals all wounds”. While this may be true, one thing we are painfully aware of right at that moment is that the wound is most definitely not yet healed, and such torment can affect our daily lives.

I’ve had my share of such failures but they made me more mature now. I can easily get over these failures and charge them to experience. I may not be a pro to giving advises but I hope I can still contribute something to at least help.

Getting over a failed relationship is sometimes a state of mind, as much as it is waiting patiently for your feelings of hurt to diminish. There are two important factors to consider after any parting. One, if you managed to find happiness in your relationship, whether for a week or for years, then take comfort and satisfaction in that fact, because there are many in this world who will sadly never experience that happiness. Two, if you were not happy, then again take comfort that the relationship is indeed over, for why should you participate any further in a relationship in which you do not derive any happiness from?

Do not consider it time wasted, that is a big mistake. There is a theory that each relationship you enter into in your life will help prepare you better for the next one, until you find the right one, your match. But this theory will only benefit you if you can take the time to objectively view your past relationships and see what went wrong, and learn from it.

Try to examine why the relationship failed. This is not about placing blame, either on your ex or yourself. If you feel that the failure is due to the actions of your ex, then you might want to consider finding someone who does not exhibit the same personality or behavioral qualities. If you believe that you were responsible for the termination of the relationship, then see what you can change about yourself so that there will not be a reoccurrence in your next relationship.

NEXT! I know it may sound like a stupid idea but it really works. That is the key word; NEXT. There will always be a next relationship, if you keep your mind open and your heart available. Many of us have a tendency to shut ourselves off emotionally after a failed relationship, vowing never to let anyone close to us again. While this may provide you with a sense of security, it will severely inhibit you from reaching any long-term happiness, and will most likely result in a continuance of failures. No one expects you to immediately hand over your heart to a new potential lover, but at some point, as the relationship continues to grow, you must tear down any walls you have built in order for any future growth to occur. Fear of being hurt again is a realistic and common trait, but you must not let that stand in your way of what could be a wonderful adventure. It is okay to be afraid, just so long as you don’t let it control your actions.

In essence, you must come to realize that you cannot avoid emotional pain. It is a fact of life, and a necessary one, for it teaches what is important and what is not, and each relationship is an important learning experience. You can look at your former partners and see what it is you liked most about them, and what you liked the least, and therefore be better prepared with an idea of what you are looking for in a potential future partner. For example, you may have found that good conversation is especially important, and possession of a fashionable wardrobe not so important.

Time will heal your wounds, but you must remember that the end of any relationship is not a time for mourning [or for celebration, as the case may be]. Rather it is a time for growing and learning. If you can do that, then you are one step closer to achieving true love and happiness, possibly with your next partner. Good luck!