ramblings, random musings, fascinations, rants, raves and revelations

I have been dreaming of Palawan for the longest time. Gay and Zelot has been there before but still decided to go back and this time, with 9 more in tow - US!

With the scourging heat of the Metro, it is the best time to check out the white sand beaches of the country. One of the more popular summer destinations is Coron in Palawan province. I, Almsie, Carlo, Gay, Zelot, Kelly, Nina, Carol, Muty, Abhi and Bochog had the opportunity to experience it’s best and more.

If you’re planning a Coron Palawan trip, you can reserve plane tickets online via SEA Air or Zest Air, Cebu Pacific or the newest that caters them - PAL Express. These are the only commercial Philippine airlines that fly to Busuanga island where Coron is.

When our group took the trip, we made our hotel resort booking online at Darayonan Lodge. The place is owned by a very accomodating and nice couple. We have not been able to get the newer rooms because they were fully booked. The place we stayed at is made from local materials so it’s like staying in a bahay kubo. The staff were very friendly and nice to talk with. Our tour guide - Michelle was really nice and funny at times especially if she would start telling stories about those who guard the islands. She’s very superstitious and yet very funny to be with.

A Palawan is perfect getaway for people who need to realx and be closer to nature. We really enjoyed it. How about our more than 1,800 pictures? Do I still have to say more?

Coron Palawan’s Points of Interest:

• Sunset91Beach - A great place to relax, white-powdery-fine sand, to get that perfect tan and to eat lunch! I’m saying this because we were so hungry that time already.
• Cayangan Lake - these is a beautifully hidden lagoon that are maintained by the native Tagbanua tribe of northern Palawan. There are other lagoons that are off-limit to tourists because they are national protected areas and according to Ate Michelle “spirit guarded”.
• Mt. Tapias - Hikers and nature lovers will enjoy climbing these peaks. At the top of Mt. Tapias is a giant cross that is lighted at night. It can be reached through the 750-step stairs which really tested Carol’s and Nina’s endurance. So you can just imagine how we all rejoiced when finally we saw them descending from the stairs.
• Skeleton Wreck - Coron is one of the best locations to go diving. I tried to do a research on this. In 1944 some 120 US Navy bombers caught a Japanese convoy at anchor in northern Palawan. Some 11 [and more yet undiscovered] World War II Japanese wrecks await divers under the vast Coron Bay.
• Maquinit Hot Spring - definitely lives to it’s name. It was really hot and it took us so much time to adjust to it’s temperature. Our teasings even included “our balls” being hard boiled before we could even go home.

So whether you like nature or the white beach, Coron Palawan has everything to offer. Go to Coron for its breathtaking tourist sites, cashew nuts, masarap foods, and great value accommodation.

What can I say about the people? One thing I remember we had a bad experience from “masungit” people like the one from Coron Bistro and the airport personnels and of course the pang-fine dining na prices of those stores you would find near the airport. And I wouldn’t advise also that you go to their public resorts like the Calachuchi Resort because it’s dirty and will not worth the travel. Souvenir shops aren’t also that cheap.

Saludo ako sa’yo Kabayan. inspirasyon ka ng Musikang Pilipino. Paalam.

As I was packing my things earlier in preparation for my Coron Trip tomorrow, my sister in law arrived. I couldn’t describe her face. I asked her what happened but she can’t talk and was already tearful. I decided not to push for it first and let her settle. After a while, I asked here again the same question. “Kuya nalaman nila na nanganak na ako nung nagpamedical ako, di na ako pinagpatuloy sa work ko, kasi naman ako eh” and then she cried with full of disappointment, anger and pity. I tried to calm her and told her that it’s just okay, there’ll be more opportunities for her. She had a miscarriage early this year. She’s having a hard time getting a job because she’s undergraduate and too young. One thing also is that she just came from the province and so lacks self esteem or confidence. I really felt bad because my brother [her husband who is in the province] didn’t show support and asked her to go back home instead. I was already tearful when my brother called, I took the phone and scolded him with no end. Long story short, I took charge.

On my way to work, I started contemplating.

Sometimes when we try really hard to accomplish something or to make something work, and it doesn’t in the end, we put the blame on ourselves when we shouldn’t.

One of the hard parts of life is the fact that we cannot predict the future. Sure, it would be nice to know that we end up happy and successful, but there is no looking glass that can show us this.

So what do we do? We try. We have goals and dreams and other completely random things that we want to accomplish. And sometimes these things work out the way that we plan, but sometimes they don’t. Sometimes we fail, and other times we make really big mistakes.

But guess what? You’re mortal. Just like you can’t see into the future, you can’t stop yourself from having a few mishaps every now and then.

When people make mistakes or when something doesn’t turn out like they’ve been hoping, it’s easy to wonder, “What did I do wrong?” Now, if you know, for certain, that you’re the one to blame, that’s acceptable. But if things pan out in a way that you really couldn’t control, don’t jump to blaming yourself because more than likely, it’s not your fault. When you have genuinely tried to achieve some sort of goal, whatever it may be, and it doesn’t work out for a reason that is beyond your control, you shouldn’t automatically assume that you’ve done something wrong. Be glad that you tried, that you put yourself out there, or even that you made the effort to do something that’s either difficult or out of the norm for you.

People put the blame on themselves when things go sour too often. If things haven’t gone your way recently, for whatever reason, don’t try and hurt yourself more by blaming yourself. Learn from your experiences, and never stop trying. Because, although I may not be psychic, I can predict that there are going to be many, many triumphs in your life.

To my sister in law, don’t worry too much. You’re a part of the family now. You don’t actually have to work. Just like what we told you, we can send you to school but since you decided to be “mature and responsible”- as you put it, be brave and always ask His guidance. We love you!

Who are you really? Is it how I see you now? I’ve heard it in movies, and I’m sure it’s based on real life: Why can’t you love me for who I am? or You don’t really love me for me.

Who is me? Who are we as people? Let me give you an example. Let’s say I’m single and really into work mode phase. I’m digging everything about my job, the people, the schedule the works. I also happen to be pre-occupied by my office friends this time and I’m not even thinking of having someone to be called my “love” now. I start dating someone who says he can’t date me because I can’t give him time and it’s all about my friends and family for me and that I am a pessimistic fool when it comes to meeting prospects. Very likely, I would throw back those hackneyed Hollywood lines at him: “You don’t really love me for who I am!”

I’d probably have a point, but is that who I really am? What if it all was just a phase? What if I realized that you’re worth my attention and consider getting serious? What if you have proven that you’re worth being my “one”? Would it matter to me that much? Would it matter to you?

The truth is that we all change. We are different things at different times. We all go through phases. Some of those phases, even if they’re phases we regret, still feel a part of us years or decades later. I used to love G.I. Joe as a kid. Don’t really care that much for those war toys now. If someone said she hated war toys, would I take offense? I’m not sure. I do feel in some vague way as if those war toys were part of my growing up process, but I’m also not that attached to them. I used to think that I can never be friends with straight guys but I have them now.

So do people have to put up with our current phases in order to really love us “for who we really are”? What makes us us? What exactly are they loving? The fact that we can change? The fact that we go through phases? Sticking by through thick and thin, smart and stupid? And if so, isn’t it pretty arbitrary whom you love? Couldn’t you love anyone romantically?

I don’t have any simple answers for this. Of course, on one level, yes, you could love just about anyone romantically if you were open-minded enough about it. A lot of arranged marriages are successful because the arrange couple has low expectations and realizes they’ve grown to appreciate each other over the years. At the same time, I’m not going to fall in love with Stalin or Pinochet in the hopes that mass slaughter and torture will be just a phase I will embrace later as being formative in creating a wonderful person later.

It’s complicated. You are what you do. But sometimes you aren’t.

As most were getting ready to run out the door for work every morning, noticing the sun streaming through the windows and the light reflecting off dew on the trees, our “kind” will just be off for home. That is what we are, nocturnal creatures. But last Friday, our group decided to wait for the mall to open and buy our beach stuffs for our Palawan escapade this coming Saturday. Everybody’s really excited and in high spirit. We had coffee at Breton, took so many pictures, laughed our hearts out, teased and pestered the creatures around us.

It was a tiring day but a happy one first.

Birthday Blessings
Joanna Fuchs

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
“Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!”

Gay, Abhi, Z, Kelly, Almsie, Abi and I were having our [2am] lunch earlier when I opened what I have watched from weekend’s TV marathon. Dra. Vicki Belo was interviewed in Showbiz Central and left words which insulted Boy Abunda.

Dra. Vicky Belo took the hot seat for the “Gimme Mo” segment of Showbiz Central Sunday afternoon. And then she was asked to comment about her biggest rival’s claim (Calayan) that they have better-looking endorsers than Belo Medical Group. She said:

“Well, first of all, I feel kinda bad. Kasi, ako naman ang nag-umpisa ng mga bati-bati ng mga artista. I feel bad, kasi parang ginagaya lang nila ako. Sana naman, maghanap naman sila ng unique marketing… And I’d like to say, if you want to look like Boy Abunda, then go to Calayan. But if you like to look like Dingdong Dantes and Piolo Pascual, come to Belo.”

Boy Abunda gave himself a chance to react [about Vicki’s statement involving him] at his show in SNN: Showbiz News Ngayon. Boy’s statement went like this…

[Tearfully] “Nasindak po ako, na-surprise po ako, di po ako makapaniwala… kaibigan ko pong matalik si Dra. Vicky Belo for years. Vicky if you’re watching alam mo na kahit kailan hindi ako namuhunan sa gandang panlabas dahil alam ko wala ako masyado nun. Alam mo na namuhunan ako ng lakas ng loob, sipag at tiyaga, dasal, at Vicky wala akong ilusyong gumanda. At wala ring sinumang may karapatan na manlait sa aking pagkatao.”

Boy narrated that his mom called him late Sunday night from Samar and asked him if he did something wrong to Vicky Belo and why she insulted him on National TV. Boy assured her mom that he did not do anything against the famous cosmetic doctor.

“Vicky if you’re watching, you know I did not do anything bad to you to deserve this insult. Wala akong ginawa sa ‘yo. And Ma if you’re watching, wala po akong ginawa. Narating ko po ang maliit na espasyo ko dito sa industriya na wala po akong tinapakan.”

He ended his reactions as he says “At mga kaibigan, hindi po tayo kinakailangang kasing-ganda o kasing-gwapo ni Dingdong Dantes para maging masaya at para maging mabuting tao.”

I can’t embed Boy Abunda’s reply to this so please follow this link - http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e68/owl4ever/starmo/?action=view¤t=boyvsbelo-1.flv

You know how excited is everyone for our Palawan Escapade? Let these pictures do the talking… Nagbu-book palang ‘yan.While Gay books online, Nina is also busy booking for another airline. Ang mga miron nasa likod lang, taga-komento, pang-gulo.

Nothing pains the heart more than being separated from your honey. Maybe a job or a family crisis has forced you apart. Perhaps it’s just a temporary departure from each other; for some, the situation is permanent and must be adapted to. Whatever the circumstance, maintaining a long-distance relationship can be very difficult and taxing for couples. But while this scenario can be challenging and put a relationship to the test, it can be done and there are scores of people that are in this predicament and make it work successfully.

Most express difficulty coping with loneliness and boredom, and some report developing insecurities and fears about their partner’s seeking solace with other men; others worry of the potential for their relationship to crumble because of the distance itself posing a barrier to solidifying emotional intimacy, usually afforded more easily by face-to-face contact and daily living experience.

Let’s face it—nothing compares to having your partner by your side. But the fact remains, we need to continue living, we need to be practical and rational. I have suggested these to some friends.

Identify your triggers to loneliness and take advantage of this time to pursue purposeful activities that will help you grow as a person.

Keep your talks with your partner on the positive and upbeat slant. Don’t use your precious time together lamenting about the pain and injustice of being apart. This could define all your contacts with a negative aura and make the potential for emotional distancing from each other that much more possible. Give each other lots of positive affirmations and share what you appreciate. Keep the romance alive and realize that you have control over the climate of your relationship.

Live your life the way you used to. Hang out with friends, party, enjoy and be happy. Build your support system with positive people who will validate what you’re going through rather than feed you doom-and-gloom. There’s no point succumbing to your loneliness. Just know where to draw the line.

Living apart from your significant other can be quite a downer, but the important thing to remember is to avoid placing too much emphasis on the separation and instead channel that energy toward rejuvenating and feeding your relationship to the best extent you can, limitations and all! Nothing sucks the joy out of a relationship faster than having a negative mindset and swimming in pain and grief.

Long-distance relationships can work as well as any relationship, they just require extra doses of attention and understanding. So hang in there, take control of your life and make the most of a difficult situation, and before you know it you’ll be in your baby’s arms again.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

How do you label someone who hates co-existing with others? who tends to be the object of hatred of most of his co-workers? who from one company to another has gathered many enemies? who belittle his boss’ capability and almost everybody in the workplace? who wears his “I am superME” engraved tiara, who would usually explain himself as a misunderstood individual and yet all those people say the same thing to him? comment the same thing? who takes pride making “pahaging” and calls everybody “tanga”, saying that this peson is “so” and I am “so”? who stabs you from behind? who couldn’t even realize that if majority of the people say the same thing about him, it’s maybe about time to think things over? to accept the fact that maybe he’s really got a BIG problem?

DIFFICULT PERSON

The workplace is an environment that nearly each and every person will have to get used to in their lifetime. Almost any career or job you can think of will require you to be around co-workers, which is just fine, until you find that one co-worker that is a real pain to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

We all know this scenario first hand. You find a good job, decent pay, and you get comfortable with your work environment, schedule, and the overall work you do. It may not be a “Dream” job, but it is better than working in a sweatshop.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, that “one” co-worker comes around and, out of nowhere, they rain on your parade, and at times, push you to your limits. These are the people that lack essential social and interpersonal skills in their lives, and they bring this issue to the workplace, thus ruining the comfort and pride you once had in your work.

A difficult person is not the same as an angry person, although a difficult person can be, and often is, angry. A difficult person is not just one who engages in debate or stands up for what he or she believes. A difficult person is characterized by being unreasonable. To be fair and to avoid casting labels on people, all people can be difficult at times. But if everybody looks at you that way? Man, you are really a difficult one.

For some people, being difficult appears to be in their “nature”. Some people actually get joy and satisfaction from arguing, criticizing, condemning and complaining. Some people are conditioned to be that way due to a lifetime of negative experiences; being difficult is their defense. Others just want to be heard; they want a sympathetic ear and someone who will give them the attention they desire. Others may also have a sad life. Alone. Miserable. These people tend to project a strong character but is really an insecure and pitiful being inside. They need help, attention and understanding. No excuse, however, can justify the unyielding and irrational behavior of a difficult person.

Ideally, avoiding difficult people is better than dealing with them. However, when mere avoidance is not possible or practical, it’s about time to DEAL with them.

I just had another encounter with someone of different kind. I don’t know what’s in her or with her. She plays a know-it-all kind of attitude. I wouldn’t mind being corrected [especially if I'm really at fault] just make sure you raise it on the right venue or say it in a nice way. I don’t know if I’ll just try to understand that she’ll be dying alone, withered and untouched anyway but I just hate really hate her and her ways. We’ve had some issues before which were just settled not so long ago and now she started again. Haaaayyyy…

There are plenty of different types of coworkers, and unfortunately, not all of them are pleasant or fun to be around. Part of working in an office is learning how to deal with difficult coworkers, and if you haven’t mastered the art of “playing nice”, you have a rough career ahead. Out of all the unpleasant colleagues I can think of, the worst is the Know-It-All coworker.

A Know-It-All coworker is a person who has to be “right” about everything, regardless of how much proof exists to the contrary of his or her beliefs. This is the type of human being who will argue a point to the end of time, refusing to give an inch despite the number of people who dispute his or her theory.

When you have a Know-It-All coworker in your midst, you have to learn how to deal with the situation amicable. It helps to understand the coworker’s motivation, but above all, you have to think of your own career. If all of your energy is expended in frustration by your coworker’s antics, your productivity will go down the toilet and you might find yourself out of a job.

Most Know-It-All coworkers obtain the majority of their satisfaction by instigating and “winning” arguments. They feel a sense of fulfillment when another person backs down in favor of their position, even if they only managed to “win” the argument by frustrating the other person. Rather than using logic to argue their points, they try to throw people off-balance.

The best medicine against this type of assault is to maintain a stoic attitude. Don’t get emotionally invested in arguments and debates; instead, take an apathetic perspective. It isn’t as satisfying to hear, “Whatever you say”, as, “Okay, I give up, you’re right!”, so don’t bother trying to convince them that they are wrong. Instead, let your Know-It-All coworker know that you don’t have time to play games and that you have work to do.

What you also have to understand is that your Know-It-All coworker might think that he has all the answers, but he will invariably be proven wrong in the end. When things don’t turn out the way he predicted, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that for all his bluster, nothing ever came of it. If, on the other hand, you allow yourself to be goaded into arguments, you’ve simply become the very thing you detest.

My Boss asked us to stop the exchange of emails and talk about it personally which was exactly my point. If you have issues especially not work related [or not "program related" at least on our case] you can just talk to me personally and I’ll always be thankful for the criticisms but please not through emails with our Manager and Supervisor copied. Epal! Kaka-stress!

Tanga! I used to do a lot of stupid things when I was younger. Fortunately, I don’t do stupid things now quite as often as an adult, but I still do them.

My mother tells me when I was a toddler I used to climb on unfinished wood in our backyard and then cry when she pulled the splinters out of my hand… and then I’d go back and climb on the same unfinished wood.

One time in Kindergarten, I didn’t go to school and didn’t take my exams because our Yaya teased me of not being able to memorize a simple thing like even our home address. It wasn’t a great idea. It was a dumb idea.

Then there was that time in college I spent all my whole week’s allowance shopping for pillows and comforters. That was dumb. My Tita even told me - “Hala, matulog ka nalang buong linggo!”

Well, just earlier, I was having my dinner and coffee while totally engrossed watching TV. My phone rung so I hurried to my room to get it. When I got back I just sat on the table without even checking ’twas free of clutter or anything. My eyes were fixed on the TV screen and was even laughing on the character played by a singkit actress. Suddenly I felt a sharp and burning sensation down my ass. I sat on my coffee and it’s frying my buns like hell! I ran back to my room and took off my shorts, and started jumping as I freaked out. So instead of doing what a smart person would do [run to bathroom and wash it with cold water] I decided to just stupidly jump and jump and yell of the pain. It was already late when I realized what I should have done. Now, I have fried buns and cursing myself for the stupidity.

I’m an idiot.

You live and learn. Well, hopefully you learn…

A lady friend kept on bugging me earlier on which gifts will be best for her boyfriend. My “guy” has been asking me if I appreciate flowers. I told him that I might as well wear gown if he’s giving me such, which of course gave him my answer. I just don’t like the idea of receiving flowers. I thinks it’s really a girl-y thing and I don’t wanna be one.

Valentine’s Day has always been a favorite with cynics! Each year this day draws near, there are some sections of people who take out their knives and go on the offensive. They have a problem with everything connected to Valentine’s Day. They don’t like the idea of giving gifts, more so because there’s this recession which seems to have the final say in everything! They don’t like the “mushy” stuff and they feel that you can express your love any day of the year! They may have a point somewhere, but they do stretch it too far sometimes.

I think it all depends on the individual’s choice. If you are in favor of doing something special on Valentine’s Day, go ahead and do it. If you feel that it’s not your cup of coffee, so be it. I’m sure there are lots of ways in which you can still say how much you love your significant other. And you can do that throughout the year. The point I’m trying to make here is, each to his or her own. Similarly there are lots of people who go crazy as the day draws near. They splurge money unnecessarily to get stuff they don’t need. Men say that they’re really pressured to do something, and women say that they’re disappointed. Some even send themselves flowers and cards [like Mr. Bean!] just so that they don’t look like they’re left out. I know a few of them who even borrow money to get gifts for their love! That’s just a lot of hassle don’t you think?

Would you consider me cynic then?

[Wikipedia] : Confusion, of a pathological degree, usually refers to loss of orientation [ability to place oneself correctly in the world by time, location, and personal identity] and often memory [ability to correctly recall previous events or learn new material]. Confusion as such is not synonymous with inability to focus attention, although severe inability to focus attention can cause, or greatly contribute to, confusion. Together, confusion and inability to focus attention [both of which affect judgment] are the twin symptoms of a loss or lack of normal brain function [mentation].

After all my efforts with actually trying to land a mate, wouldn’t it just be such a shame for me to lose an opportunity because I’m afraid to trust the motives of someone interested? That’s where I am today.

I have no idea how to fall into something with possibilities and just, well, BE. I seem to find myself wondering, second-guessing, and anticipating the shoe to drop. Depending on your beliefs, we technically only have one physical life. I don’t want to live it never trusting again.

It really isn’t the bitterness of past failed serious relationships that is my problem anymore. There was most assuredly a time when I didn’t necessarily hate it, but more to the point — I tried very hard to keep a thinly veiled guard up. I was always waiting for when they would hurt me. For a time I just stopped believing.

Now the issue here is trusting if whether or not advances, interests and their attention are genuine. I believe it’s an enormous waste of effort, time and yes, even money, if in the end I sabotage things before they have begun! I don’t fear commitment for what it implies. I just fear the possibility of a let-down. More to the point — a devastation. Jumping in with both feet and eyes semi-closed is new to me. I think the ME, that ME in his younger years, was quite good at that. Too good. And now that he has reached nearly a maturing age, putting his big toe in the water is how he would rather start.

So what’s bothering me now is the question - should I or shouldn’t I? I already started being sweet and all too accomodating to him but at the back of my head, I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing or just letting myself be prone to pains and hardships again.

However why is it that I’ve dived in full on, but can’t mentally get past dipping my big toe in the uncharted waters of an actual possibility?

Anyway, I’ll just wait and see. Yeah, wait and see.

I’m a really touchy person. Maybe because Mama brought us up to be sweet and loving. I can still remember when we were young, Mama will always be there to hug us and comfort us through the night. When someone is sick, she will always make you feel better by her hugs and kisses of comfort. We call it Mother’s touch. Valentines Day is coming and I’m sure there’ll be a lot of huggings and kissings that will be happening. What will happen next for some will be another story [pun intended], am I gonna have one? A hug can speak a thousand words. I woke up to the medical effects of hugging after a little nudge from a friend. With the Heart’s Day coming up, I read up on it myself. I realized that it was actually true that a hug can make you feel healthier and there is a marked positive change in the mental state of a person who has hugged or who has been hugged. There were a lot of studies on how babies need to be hugged and the amount of hugs they get shape their personalities.

And that’s not it, hugs are really useful and healthy! For instance, a hug can stabilize your blood pressure, even if for a short period of time. It can reduce stress and bring you out of your depression. But most importantly, it can do wonders for you when you want to show that you care and you are concerned. Especially a friend who is going through a tough phase in her life.

Hmmm… now I feel so blessed that even though Mama is far away, I have good office friends whom I can always share my love with. I love you Gay, Zelot, Almsie, Kelly, Nina, Abi, Evette, Abhi, Ron, Carol, Liz, Lanie, Gen and Ed [this one I can't hug, nobody dares].

Seven more days and the town will be painted red again. As Valentine’s Day comes close, some of you could be in a sort of dilemma like some people I know. It’s nothing abnormal or uncommon, rather it’s something that can happen to anyone of you. Okay, to cut the long story short, I’m talking about falling in love with a friend. A guy friend started off his equation with a lady friend as a friend, but now he wants that to bloom into love. But he’s unsure of how he will approach and while he gathers enough steam to go up and tell her about his feelings, he wants to keep things under wraps. He doesn’t want his face or words to betray his emotions. He’s worried about causing hurt to her by making unreasonable and unjustified demands on her time. And I think, he’s right here.

There are sometimes when such things happen. Why, just a few weeks back I asked H out! That was a wrong step that I took. I don’t want any of you to hasten things up in these cases because once the good rapport is somehow hampered, it requires a lot of effort to get that spontaneous friendship again. If you guys are in a similar knot, I’d suggest you to take it easy and be as normal as you can. If you find it difficult to contain your feelings, discuss it with your friend frankly, making it clear at the same time that your feelings are entirely yours and you have no intention of making it an extra baggage to your friendship.

This takes the pressure off your friend who’s confused by your confession. Then you can talk it out like two mature people. Try to understand your friend. You wouldn’t want to hurt your friend by trying to prove you are right. Let this discussion not affect the friendship and whatever you do, stay away from emotional blackmail or corny lines! They only make you look like a person who believes in the grab-and-snatch method. Maintain dignity at all costs and who knows, your maturity in handling this might as well get you your love!

Hmmm… now I’m thinking. Should I go out with that Maysilo guy friend who has been asking me out for a movie date later? I already told Abhi about it and I know whe would always want me to be happy. Hmmm… lemme think things over.

Not wanting to feel the sadness of being away from my friends [Kiko, Ralf and Jc] I decided to join Z on a photoshoot. It was from the group Konzepto. I really enjoyed it and would really love to join them again.

My mind’s not working good with words now so let these behind-the-scene-pictures do the talking.

All my thanks to Z and Konzepto people.

I grew up to be a little bit on the opinionated side, and for the past years I have been writing my own thoughts here, so you can bet I have heard and participated in a lot of debates about whether it is right and/or effective to evangelize to gain more “converts” or not.

The evangelism [for religion, relationships, personal musings or anything else] usually comes from good intentions. Although sometimes it can feel to the person being evangelized to that the intention is more “I’m right, and you’re wrong, and you’d better see things my way”; the intention is usually more, “I didn’t realize what I was missing until I saw this, so I want you to see it too.”

I have an entry here which gained attention from somebody who has comprehension problems. I wrote about “longka/longkatuts/house helpers” and how I see them and how I think they should be treated. My intention is to give my gratitude and to suggest how WE can improve our relationship with them. But this certain person who obviously cannot understand what I really intend to say took it the other way around. I don’t know if she’s a “longka” or just somebody who happens to have so little brain to understand what I really meant. I really feel bad for her. I can’t understand her argument but I’m still giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I was an argumentative child and adolescent, and even though I thought I had some pretty good arguments, logic, and examples, there were few arguments I ever won or lost. Pretty soon I realized that arguments for the purposes of convincing someone to adopt a new outlook or change her mind are a waste of time. Arguments as intellectual exercises or fun pastimes are fine. And you can sometimes bully someone into giving up fighting you, but you haven’t really changed her mind. You’ve just intimidated her.

So if you’re someone who truly thinks “I didn’t realize what I was missing until I had this” instead of “Haha! I’m right and you’re wrong”; think about the last time you changed your mind on an issue or decided to try something new. What was the impetus for that change? Was it someone arguing with you? How did you start seeing things in a different way or open yourself up to trying a new product or lifestyle?

For me [I won’t even try to speak for anyone else] — whether it was my outlooks on race and gender, my choice of handling a relationship, or my beliefs in life — any time I opened myself up to something new or changed my mind, it had nothing to do with getting into arguments with people. In fact, when folks argued with me, I tended to cling more strongly to the familiar than to open myself up to something new.

I change my mind or embrace something new when I come to it instead of it coming to me. I need the resources to come to, of course, but I need to come to those resources. I don’t want someone knocking on my door trying to sell me something. I don’t want a friend pestering me to switch to something or to change my mind about something. I do want, however, many books and websites available on the topic. I want the pros and cons clearly laid out in as unbiased a fashion as is humanly possible.

Thus, in the spirit of the golden rule, I’m going to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. I will write my opinions and leave them here as a resource. If you disagree with me, I don’t want to get into a futile argument with you. You can lay out your own opinions, and I will read them when I am free to read them. You can also read my opinions when you’re free to read them.

I’m being stupid again. Last night H texted me “Where have you been? saw you came out of the lift earlier. Who’s in GA?” Weird as it may sound but I felt good when I received that. Knowing our current status, I couldn’t help but to still feel the kilig. We’ve been into a relationship but failed to stay committed and so we chose to separate ways. Now I’m single and somehow enjoying it. One great thing about being single is not having to worry about all the relationship questions couples have to worry about. All of those restrictions of freedom, the constant compromise, the worries about trust — singles don’t have those issues. More to the point our issues are different like, “I just got invited to so and so’s party, and I need a date. Hum…” There are so many advantages to being single but some things can be inconvenient. Namely the worse being, as I stated in an earlier post, is who to trust with your loins!

But what happens when it seems that you may be getting involved again? I don’t necessarily believe that my discovery of “the new relationship” is a direct result of bitterness. Maybe at first [I will readily admit!] but that is not what it has evolved into. I will say that because of the repeat offenders to my reluctantly trusting heart, I have continued to be gun-shy. When someone comes along –again– wanting to be in my life, I am apprehensive. The difference now is that I’ve realized that I’m fine alone, which only pushes me to risk a potential relationship again. Because of my “single being the new relationship” discovery, I hope to handle things if they don’t go my way, which wasn’t always the case before.

Just because I know that life is simpler being alone, I’m not going to lie to you all and say single for life is something I want. Single being the new relationship is about being OK with oneness. So much so that when a relationship pops up, you are ready to be alone again if things go wrong. That may not seem very romantic or optimistic, but if you dissect the idea, it really is. The optimism is looking forward to getting back to YOU if/when relationships don’t work out. Too many times I’ve let myself cry in a pillow. You can cry. But stop after a day or so. Understanding single has so many benefits can guard you from pain later. And if you have the attitude of not making that person in your life the solution to anything and see he or she as an asset to your life instead of a completion, I believe the trust and relationship can be stronger.

While having our regular yosi break with Z earlier, the usual kuwentuhan lead us to so many issues but the last thing that I still remember is when I said “I’m not ready for another serious relationship again” which is of course true. I can’t see myself being stupidly in love again.

That said taking the risk of coupledom is feasible, prepared and overall better because you know that you were a whole person before the opportunity of relationships comes knocking.

By the way, here’s my number +639277****** hahahahaha.

A couple of heavyweight bloggers recently had their knuckles rapped over subpar grammar skills. The debate, predictably, turned to, “If people understand what’s being communicated, why does it matter?” I don’t get this person’s argument.

Of course, I march with the grammar goon squad on this one. Casual conversation doesn’t requite good grammar, true, but writing for a mass audience does. [Copy editors sometimes have to silence their overzealous deskmates with, "Edit copy, not speech!" Even the correctors need a break from correction.] I am not a perfect grammarian myself but at least I know the simple ones. I also submit my entries to people to at least help me correct it.

Puny grammar always makes the writer look bad. If a blogger doles out information that’s desperately needed, it’s a lot easier to be forgiving. But when his or her readers have other choices, the smart ones will wander off.

I can sympathize. I slept through grammar in grade school, even in high school and then wrote for a half dozen years using D-student grammar and sloppy spelling. I got away with it because of my “friend” editors, who wielded mighty pencils. But please don’t try to humiliate somebody about wrong grammar while your simple statements can’t even differentiate a verb from a noun.

Kiko left for Atlanta today. While checking his luggages if he’s got all what he needed, we were singing this. I was a bit teary and really sad. While I was on my way to his place, Skad texted me - “Wer u na?, Lungkot ako, di na ako mapakali.” I of course understand what he’s feeling. Ako na bestfriend sobrang lungkot na eh siya pa.

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
Cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
but I tell you baby, they dont mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
Cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
And close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave you alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
Cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

I can’t still believe until now na umalis na siya. After sending him to the airport, I and Skad were just quiet. When I got back to the office, that was when it hit me. I really cried in the comfort room, still teary eyed when I talked to Abhi. I think she felt it that was why she checked on me. Haaayyy.. life.

We’ll be missing you Kiko. Ingat ka palagi.