ramblings, random musings, fascinations, rants, raves and revelations

In one episode of the old television series Batman, Batman and Robin are in their bat cave and a lovely Catwoman is in their Batmobile, sleeping. Both tights-clad men watch her with a quiet admiration, such a beautiful sight, this peaceful innocent slumber.

How romantic to be seen sleeping like that, I thought to myself, a young ME at the time. How beguiling.

I imagined that if anyone saw me sleeping, it would be like a lilting aphrodiasic. Sweet, lovely ME and his gentle slumber. They would be powerless under this magical spell.
Slowly, over time, reality bitch-slapped me.

First, I came to know that I sleep with my mouth open at times and I mean "at times" lang. Blame it on allergies, but I'm primarily a mouth breather. My gagong friends from college took a picture of me sleeping on an airplane flight to Cebu and the sight of my open-mouthed stupor made me gag a little.

Second, while sharing a log cabin with 7-8 other "alternative" Baguio friends during a wilderness experience in 2006, a friend joked that someone was sawing logs.

Ahem.

That was apparently me.

And ohhh, of course that Sagada trip with Bitoy, Au, Emman and Rain confirmed that I really do the "train-chug-thing" at times.

The shock of learning that I snored- and this, the first time I was hearing of such an unME thing [remember, I am a maarte man when it comes to sleeping behavior?] sank a small corner of my self view buoy. A snorer! Gah! How uncouth.

And so began my self-consciousness over my unconsciousness.
During any collaborative sleep session, "Did I snore?" Sometimes the answer was good. Sometimes not so much. I wondered what made the difference. What made for a snoring day and what made for a dignified silence. Unmedicated allergies, yep. Alcohol, yep. Extreme fatigue, yep. Back sleeping, yep!

One night, I had to share a tiny call room with an intimidating male/crush/officemate/at Winsource during system down time and the awkwardness and self-consciousness of it all nearly killed me. I ouldn't really sleep than plus the fact na binabangungot ako palagi dun sa sleeping quarter na yon. In the morning, I asked nervously if I snored. He said, "You were quiet as a mouse." Sweet Relief! Glee!

But of course, I've been with him for quite sometime din. He's a light sleeper who must have NO SOUND. I mean, like NONE. I try not to be too hurt when I wake up at night to find him stuffing a 3rd pillow over his ear. And that's on top of his industrial-grade ear plugs.
And, apparently, getting sick is the worst thing that can happen to my upper airways and it got pretty bad last go-around. Hell of a stuff I'm sure, but also that extra neck and throat mass probably didn't help matters.

I'm going nowhere here... I hope you can still relate. I don't know if I'm missing HIM or I just want "snoring" be my blog. Hell yeah, I just miss him. Nasa Dubai na siya with her GF. [*hurts... terribly]. Mariaanneeeee! <-- she's our witness... Maybe I need ENT surgery or a Cardio o Cardiac ba? *rain, which is which?

Last night? Well, since I'm starting to try making tipid, I decided to take the FXtaxi to work. I just thought, why should I spend one way/Php130 every night while I can just spend Php20? I did some calculator-ing yesterday and found out that I'm just living somehow a more expensive life than I really should. Considering that I'm not really earning that much this time. I miss the old days.

Having so, It made me realize that I just need a little adjustment on my time schedules. That maybe, I just need to wake up and prep to work a little bit early than usual so I can still find an FXtaxi that is Megamall bound [my office is located nearby anyway]. And that I should try getting used to small walks even at night. So there I was.

Unfortunately, when I hopped in to one last night, It was just so full and there was only 1 seat at the back that was unoccupied. Next to me was this so uneasy/fat ass "jock"- *[feeling cool na paalogalog ng ulo kasabay ang mga taba niya sa katawan at leeg] who didnt seem to care he's just too big para sumabay pa sa tiyempo ng ipod niya while I was there siksik na siksik na sa sulok. And there also this guy who sat infront of me who totally stank of weed. Like, I felt like I was getting high on the fumes coming off his clothes.

But you know what surprised me?

When a seat beside him opened up, he tapped me lightly on the arm and asked me if I wanted to take it. I looked at him --- really looked at him --- and was startled to find he was really, very good looking in that scruffy, unwashed way. He had beautiful blue eyes and sharp features. His hair was kind of dirty and unkempt, but he was good looking.

I had my headphones on. I couldn't hear him. But I shook my head and said it was okay. He kept telling me that it was no bother 'cause he's dropping off nearby anyway. I resisted but somehow

I realized...

That was kinda nice. At least diba? may pakialam siya sa dillema ko.
I wanted to write that down in a bid to release my memories in here.

Sort of like Dumbledore and his pensieve.

"At least it's payday."

For years I've heard people answer the above question with the above answers or not even pay attention to the question and answer with an "OK" in passing. Sometimes people would answer as if I had asked, "How you doin'?" That made me realize that they don't care enough to hear the question. I found myself doing the same thing more often than not.

I don't remember when but one day I realized that I was tired of the life I was leading myself into. Part of it was probably related to hearing the Chico and Delamar radio program. When asked by a caller how he was doing Chico answered "Better than I deserved." He thought about the answer so I decided to answer it myself.

I thought about the negativity in most answers and decided to be positive. I started out by thinking about the crappy stuff that was making my life less than it should have been.
I found that my life was pretty good. I have an awesome family. A job I love. Friends. Leisure time. Hobbies. I had a good life. The things in my days that were negative were fleeting. After some light research, I found that amongst time with family, time working, time sleeping, and general crappyness, most of my day was good. Very little was that bad. Okay, so most days are good days.

Then I came up with an internal scale of days. A great day on my scale is a day of "payday". Another great day is when I was in love. The terrible day on my scale is when we found out that Eric had lung cancer. I know days can get worse, but that's my current scale.
Most days on that scale are pretty good. I have a good life filled with good days.

So now, when people ask me how I am doing or a related question, I stop and think about the day so far. I think about the my expectations for the rest of the day. I think about my scale. And I answered, "Today is a good day", or at least I'm prompting myself to.

It's amazing how many people stop after hearing that response. Then they ask me why. It's easy to find something that made today good. Some days it may be that I woke up alive again. I have days like that too.

I've been doing this for few months now. And I am hearing other people say it now. And I am seeing people smile when they say it; when they hear it.
The real point is that I am reminded by my own response every time I say it.

Today is a good day.

Ate Erlynn and I had itlog and pancit canton for breakfast, Roan with her Haniku doing the pamamalengke, Venus Williams and Sharapova on cable, Dai cramming for school... what more can I ask for? Saya ng buhay, buksan mooooooo...

Happy... it's so nice to be happy... it's so nice... [the music plays on and on and on]

What's on a Tuesday?

What is a "_a_n_s_w_e_r_"?, this is from the "Jeopardy" game we usually watch at home.

I think I've been using this phrase too losely in the past. I can honestly say that there hasn't been enough time in the day for the past month. Moving to my new company at the same time moving in to a new place has got to be the biggest undertaking of my "trabahador" life. Emotionally, I knew it would be but boy... I hadn't really realized that physically it would be as well!

It has caused me to realize that we often take advantage of time. We either waste it in front of the t.v. because we are "tired" or we simply put off having dinner with friends or that old officemates for the next week when suddenly next week is no longer there.

I have discovered this while trying to sift through all of my "stuff". It looks like a tornado has gone through our room. I've got piles for goodwill, garage sale, garbage, storage and then finally "payatas" pile of laundry! In reality the only things I've accomplished since I moved to our new place is my self. I wish I hadn't put off going through this stuff 2 months ago when I had enough time in the day!

All of these while trying to have dinner and/or drinks with every friend and family member that I care about. Since I've accomplished good friendship with people, I can tell you it's more people than you'd think. I've eaten out so much in the past month I look like an overstuffed pig. And working out? Forget about it - where's the time?

Oh, and try using the " i have dyspepsia" - excuse on a Tuesday night while you should be out there working. And what do you call that time you sneak yourself into "ministop" for 3 bottles of San Mig super dry? You definitely drink more when you are weepy, I've discovered. For the record, I do not recommend drinking a bottle of wine on a Tuesday night unless you are on vacation. All this while still holding a job. Oh, life has been interesting...

Good thing I'm just so happy and thankful that I have Ate Erlynn, Roan and the rest of the gang sa bahay. Masaya. Parang bahay-bahayan. Whew!

So the purpose of my rampage? Don't put things off. Before you know it, a life change will come your way and you'll be left holding a bottle of wine and an empty box with your hair on fire!

Oh, a new "Gift from God" is on the way,

Come join us on this special day.

Balls and trucks and toys galore,

Don't be afraid we have room for more.

Doc says, "it's a Boy" but didn't write it in ink,

We hope he's right since we've bought nothing pink.

Baby's not here yet but already spoiled,

Pockets are empty, but our heart's full of joy.

We kept trying and trying but the stork wouldn't show,

So we just kept it up until a baby started to grow.

God answered our prayers just soon enough,

And soon we'll have a baby that we can show off.

Burp rags, bibs and stinky diapers too,

Soon we'll be changing them, we hope you'll help too.

We know there will be crying and screaming the first year,

But it's not the baby; it's Mom and Dad that you hear.

We've been reading and reading about babies that's true,

Nothing we've read says it's easy to do.

We've seen all the latest movies and even cruised along the shore,

Since we know that after baby comes this we'll do no more.

We've watched other parents and just shook our heads,

We're glad their not ours is all that we said.

We'll teach him respect and all that implies,

So that every day he'll put love in our eyes.

As we grow older and dwell in the joy,

We'll thank God for this little boy.

It’s going to be a long day and there’s a lot to do tomorrow and I know I should be going to sleep but I can’t seem to. There’s just so much going on in my head and I need to unload before I go to sleep so here goes nothing...

I caught a documentary [I think] of Madonna’s latest concert tour. Man, I miss watching Madonna! I’ve been a fan since I was a little child… dancing and singing along to her music, copying her moves and her look at the back of our front door. Minus of course the ripped stockings and rubber bracelets and everything!

Madonna may not be the best singer out there and her music has changed a lot throughout the years [which is probably why I’m not that obsessed with her anymore… my tastes have changed] but I can still say that she is one of — if not the best — performers out there. Even for her age, she can outshine a lot of those younger ones in terms of performances — the energy, production, choreography…Madonna’s a pro at it, that’s for sure. I’ve loved her shows [although I have not had the honor of seeing them live]. Di nakakasawa.

The thing I loved about seeing Madonna again on TV was that I realized how much she has changed and grown... not just as an artist but as a person. I mean she’s wife and mother now, who would’ve thought back then that it would actually happen?

One of the things I admire about Madonna is that she continuously reinvents herself. She changes and grows everytime people see her. I like that she pushes the envelope with every change that she makes with herself. She’s not afraid to challenge the norms and step out of her [and everyone else’s] comfort zones to grow into her own or to be able to search for who she is and who she’s supposed to be.

I wish I could be as brave to challenge what’s generally accepted to see what is best for me and discover to the fullest who I really am. This woman seems to live on the mantra “No regrets.” I try to live on the same way of thinking but from time to time I still have things that make me back off from doing things I really want to do.

OK, I’m rambling and I’m not sure if I’m making any sense. This whole train of thought seemed alright when I was on my way home after watching Fantastic 4, but now I'm not so sure.

Sorry for being a little non existent here throughout this week. I have been so tied up at work and I've been coming home and wanting to just chill. I just had a hard time adjusting to my new work sked and of course new campaign [Superpages.com]. Now, things have seemed to calm down and I'm ready for the week ahead or am I?

I spent the afternoon watching Fantastic 4 : Rise of the Silver Surfer with Migz at SM Centerpoint. The movie started off well, the opening scene was cool; it was in outer space, the scene slowly glided past planets until it came up to what seems to be a world breaking up, slowly, with bursts of gigantic explosions protruding out of its surface; the planet then went dark and died.

The Silver Surfer, a herald of Galactus – The world Devourer, swoops into earth on an excavation expedition with the intent to preparing the world for consumption by his master; and where ever the Silver Surfer goes, the world destroyer is not too far behind, off in the distant bringing with it death and destruction. Our heroes are defeated on their first meeting with the Silver Surfer; with some valuable information provided to them by their arch nemesis DOOM they succeed in capturing him on the second attempt, and the prisoner is turned over to the army. Realizing the DOOM has just used everyone to get what he really wanted, the Silver surf board which was the source of the Silver Surfer’s power; the team helped the surfer to escape and retrieve his board before he then goes out and does a kamikaze and destroys Galactus, his master along with himself, thereby saving the world.

MY THOUGHT

The acting was lame; everyone was just full of themselves. The movie plot was very weak, a battle between good and evil; a misguided convert that saves the day in the end; a wedding that has been postponed several times; a super heroe losing his cool and powers when he need it the most; and finally, the writers should have known, Galactus is too big an adversary to be used in a movie this short.

I liked the special effects though, and some of the laughs but it was not enough to justify going to see it in the cinema.

It was Ok, not great.