This Blog is an outlet for the random thoughts of an amateur opinionator.
What's an opinionator?
An opinionator is somebody who has power without responsibility, and the ability to spout off on any subject without worrying too much about the consequences of what comes out of the mouth. All you need is an opinion and the opportunity to voice it.
TV is full of professional opinionators. The internet gives the amateur his chance.
> geTTing oVer
Author: aLmich
Just recently I have witnessed my couple-friends gone separate ways. Ending a relationship is one of the toughest things we have to face in life. It is easy to want to wallow in grief but that is definitely not the step you want to take in order to “get over it”. Dwelling on the issue, rehashing the event or beating yourself up over the breakup will only make matters worse. The one thing needed is acceptance, in both your heart and mind. It’s only at this point; that you can begin the process of getting over a relationship.
We all know breaking up is never easy to do, no matter how long or short a time you were together. While some people seem to get over a break up before they cross the street, other people need a little bit more time to get over a relationship.
Unfortunately, some relationships die. You probably wouldn’t have been able to experience the wonderful feelings you had with the partner you are breaking up with if you hadn’t broken up with someone before. The same can be said for your future partner. You won’t be able to experience the wonderful times and emotions with them if you don’t get over your broken relationship. Grieving a dead relationship is a healthy thing to do. Crying washes away some of the sadness and helps us heal. Once the grieving is over, the relationship needs to be buried.
Kiko asked me to write my basic survival guide for getting over a relationship since it only took me a very short time to get over my last ex. I am by no means an expert on this subject but proper attitude, motivation and focus helped me get through.
Understand why the relationship didn’t work.
This will give you insight into why the relationship didn’t work. For example, you wanted different things in life, you had different ideologies or you needed more attention or affection then your partner was willing to give you. To complete this step you need to be honest with yourself.
Talk to your friends.
Your friends will be glad to help. Use them as sounding boards, pour out your heart, and cry on their shoulders. You will feel so much better getting things off your chest, and the support that you’ll receive from your friends will give you a boost of self-confidence like nothing else.
Stop interacting with your Ex
This will give your heart and brain the time they need to distance themselves from your perceived need to be with your ex. During this step you will want to get rid of, or at least hide, items like photographs of your ex and gifts that they gave you. Again this is to help you distance yourself from them and their memory and to give your mind the chance to focus on what you want next.
Take care of YOU.
Have a massage, treat yourself to something decadent. I spent 3 days watching DVDs and making reviews, took a short vacation, took pictures and bought lavender candles for calming my senses
Forgive your Ex
One of the most liberating experiences you can have is to forgive your ex for their faults in your past relationship. This will not only help you to move on, but it will also release their hold on your perception of new partners. Nothing is less attractive than a person who is bitter and who projects the faults of their past partners on every new prospect that they meet.
In short, take time to feel the sadness and loss. Sift through the relationship and find the good and the bad in it. Place it in the past.
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> hoLiday hangOveR
Author: aLmich
January always seems like a letdown of sorts for me. The latter part of November and all of December are spent on gatherings, parties, exchange gifts, decorating, eating inordinate amounts of food, and taking in a veritable orgy of christmas dvds. Come January, we’re forced to settle back into our routines and make friends with the treadmill to work off all those extra calories we consumed.
January also signals it’s time to pay the piper for all the presents we bought. Credit card bills start arriving in the mail, seemingly to drain our pockets. It didn’t seem like much when we were making one purchase at a time, but once they are all added up… WOW! I found myself cash-strapped over the next few months.
Like many others, my mind is still in a haze, recovering from the holiday marathon. Three more containers of brisket, ham, cheese and salads remain untouched . Until I’m finished with the leftovers, I promised not to see the grocery store and add anything to our fridge. I even promised never to see brisket again until next December.
Other highlights :
We had an early Christmas Party and it was a blast.
We exchanged gifts and I love what I received from Almsie and also from Cj.
Spent the Christmas here in Manila and went home to the province for New Year.
Met some of my High School friends when I attended Toti’s birthday.
Enjoyed hanging out with my younger cousins and Aunties.
It was really an unremarkable vacation for me.
Too bad my brother’s wife had a miscarriage that we spent 4 days in the hospital.
> no pLace Like hoMe
Author: aLmich
Well, I’m convinced there’s really no place like home. Or at least if it’s anything like the way I spent the last two weeks of the Christmas holiday. It’s pronounced “no work.” No thinking about work. No answering e-mails. No job-related to-do lists. No NOs.
Don’t know, don’t care, I’m at home in loungewear.
It was such a relaxing time, even with family dropping in, friends stopping by, the holidays, the festivities.
I would wake early in the morning before anyone was up, grab as many newspapers as I could get my hands on or continue reading my book [New Moon and Eclipse of the Twilight Saga], make coffee, and then prop my feet up for a little quality reading time. It would only last about 32 seconds before the dog would scratch at the door asking to be let out [nice timing, dog!]. But it was an amazing 32 seconds. And then I’ll go back to bed again.
I had a to-do list that was as thick as a phone book, didn’t accomplish a single thing on it the whole time, and never once felt guilty or the least bit bothered. It made me realize that the best kind of to-do list is the one you don’t do.
Unfortunately it went by too quick — too fast. I miss being with my family all day and that the biggest decision I had to make was whether I will eat more or not.
“Um, how about both?” my other self would say solving the dilemma. I had the time to meet my high school friends too. It has been a long time since I’ve seen some of them. Toto [who celebrated his birthday], Dagul, Edwin and his brothers, Bilyon and more. It’s always nice to come home to be surrounded by your loved ones, friends and familiar surroundings.
I miss the grubby T-shirts, snack time of lumpia and banana cue, and the fact that teeth brushing was more or less optional… until my Aunt caught wind and nixed my plans. But it was liberating until then.
The highlight of one day was simply playing with my nephew and the neverending chit chats with my family. That was it. We were together and having fun. Maybe that’s when it occurred to me that life is too much about what you’re doing and what you’re getting done, and not enough about just being together and enjoying that simple experience. We’re always in such a rush to get through life that we rarely get the chance to sit back, relax and take it all in. Those two weeks, though, were dedicated to that very simple philosophy, and it made for a memorable experience.
But now it’s back to work, and it’s a tough adjustment. I forgot how to put a belt on my first day. I mis-buttoned my shirt. I wore unmatched socks. I couldn’t even remember where my office was, not to mention what I do there. Luckily there is a sign on the door.
Gone are the early morning coffee sessions and the pancake breakfasts. Gone are the carefree days and the grubby T-shirts. Gone are the strollinh around town and just enjoy the morning breeze.
Mighty nice it was, and I’m not totally ready to let go. So I’m adding to my to-do list a line that reads: “Remember to slow down once in a while and enjoy.” That’s something I might actually accomplish.
