This Blog is an outlet for the random thoughts of an amateur opinionator.
What's an opinionator?
An opinionator is somebody who has power without responsibility, and the ability to spout off on any subject without worrying too much about the consequences of what comes out of the mouth. All you need is an opinion and the opportunity to voice it.
TV is full of professional opinionators. The internet gives the amateur his chance.
> wHo mE?
Author: aLmich
Who are you really? Is it how I see you now? I’ve heard it in movies, and I’m sure it’s based on real life: Why can’t you love me for who I am? or You don’t really love me for me. 
Who is me? Who are we as people? Let me give you an example. Let’s say I’m single and really into work mode phase. I’m digging everything about my job, the people, the schedule the works. I also happen to be pre-occupied by my office friends this time and I’m not even thinking of having someone to be called my “love” now. I start dating someone who says he can’t date me because I can’t give him time and it’s all about my friends and family for me and that I am a pessimistic fool when it comes to meeting prospects. Very likely, I would throw back those hackneyed Hollywood lines at him: “You don’t really love me for who I am!”
I’d probably have a point, but is that who I really am? What if it all was just a phase? What if I realized that you’re worth my attention and consider getting serious? What if you have proven that you’re worth being my “one”? Would it matter to me that much? Would it matter to you?
The truth is that we all change. We are different things at different times. We all go through phases. Some of those phases, even if they’re phases we regret, still feel a part of us years or decades later. I used to love G.I. Joe as a kid. Don’t really care that much for those war toys now. If someone said she hated war toys, would I take offense? I’m not sure. I do feel in some vague way as if those war toys were part of my growing up process, but I’m also not that attached to them. I used to think that I can never be friends with straight guys but I have them now.
So do people have to put up with our current phases in order to really love us “for who we really are”? What makes us us? What exactly are they loving? The fact that we can change? The fact that we go through phases? Sticking by through thick and thin, smart and stupid? And if so, isn’t it pretty arbitrary whom you love? Couldn’t you love anyone romantically?
I don’t have any simple answers for this. Of course, on one level, yes, you could love just about anyone romantically if you were open-minded enough about it. A lot of arranged marriages are successful because the arrange couple has low expectations and realizes they’ve grown to appreciate each other over the years. At the same time, I’m not going to fall in love with Stalin or Pinochet in the hopes that mass slaughter and torture will be just a phase I will embrace later as being formative in creating a wonderful person later.
It’s complicated. You are what you do. But sometimes you aren’t.
