This Blog is an outlet for the random thoughts of an amateur opinionator.
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An opinionator is somebody who has power without responsibility, and the ability to spout off on any subject without worrying too much about the consequences of what comes out of the mouth. All you need is an opinion and the opportunity to voice it.
TV is full of professional opinionators. The internet gives the amateur his chance.
> Galera '09 Na!
Author: aLmich
If you have a monogamous relationship and your partner has had an affair, both of you will need to spend a fair amount of time dealing with the aftermath. If your partner has had an affair, it's not a solution to restrict or be critical of your partner's friendships or independent activities. It will only anger and upset both of you.
The real issue is that you do not trust her/him anymore. You'll need to find ways -- that work for both of you -- to help rebuild trust again. Sometimes an affair will trigger feelings from past experiences unconnected to your partner, and it all gets mixed up together. The one who didn't have the affair may need additional support that a partner may not be able to provide. Again, counseling can help here.
Other than monitoring or restricting your partner's activities, maybe there's something else that could help you feel more comfortable with your partner seeing friends. For example, after an affair some couples agree that they will not see the person they had the affair with for awhile, or in the case of a one night stand that they will not go to the bar where they met. Be creative negotiating back and forth what works for both of you, and be clear about how long this arrangement will last.
While it's important to trust your intuition when you suspect that your partner is having or had an affair, sometimes what we think is intuition is really fear or insecurity. If you truly believe that you can't trust your partner, and you're not satisfied with your partner's responses to your questions, you may want to reconsider your committment.
